Green Hearts

Chapter 48

What (and I can't stress this enough) the fuck

Once upon a time in every girl's life, her mother, sister, wicked aunt, villain cousin, caring teacher, nosy neighbour lady, old granny by her porch or her friend will say the words:

Stay away from him

And she won't

Coincidentally I lack all that on the list while also noticing the fact that my mum ditched me when I was four to chase love at the rear end of a unicorn, and that I should never take advice from Jane

Aren't I in luck?

You see trusting a person is an awful thing; you get to be taken advantage of and used recklessly, but trusting blindly is the real deal; you get to be made into a joke, a clown

I wish there were someone else here to watch this circus show unfold but lucky me is in the house with boo boo the fool by myself; that is, me and myself

"And you," I turn back to him, my gaze clouded with anger of red "To think I had trusted you!" 

The book falls from my hand and bounces to the floor as I begin to make my way out of the library

"Autumn, wait!" He's following me, but my mind can't even begin to process what he is saying. I just can't believe what is going on

I should have known better

This is all on Muna. It's on my fathers. On Mrs Black. On my damn mother

"To think that I actually fell for you when it all meant nothing to you" I turn to watch his eyes look at me in regret, tears spilling like mine

"That's not true and you know it" he says and I wonder how he still has the guts to face me

"All of this," my hands go into my hair and pull "None of it is real" Realization dawns on me and I'm staring at shock at his face; in shock of how stupid I've been

How did we get here?

Let's kind of like wrap this up and go back to the start

"He's busy with some class, that he'll be over once he's done, and even Dieter isn't home" I'd walked through the front door and pranced into Jace's house

"Well, I really can't help your boredom" Muna commented and I sighed, falling on the sofa

I was to reply her when I started getting signals of an incoming call "I'll call some other time, babe."

"Sure" she'd said and cut the call. I then immediately answered the other ring from an unknown number 

"Hello?" 

"Miss Dawson?" A guy's voice came through and I nodded my head in confirmation but immediately realised that he couldn't see me

Dumbass

"Yes, I am."

"Okay, I have a breakfast package for you, but you're not here to receive it. Can I bring it to your current location or....."

I rolled my eyes, tired of my father's theatrics "No" I'd cut him off "Leave it at the reception" I said, having no intention to pick it up

I hadn't replied my dad's emails or picked his calls and intentionally watched him lose his shit on the other side of my locked dorm door

I love him but the hurt both he and mum caused is eating me away so I can't just find myself warming up to anything they both try to get back in a relationship with me

"You still there?" The guy asked, and my thoughts snapped back to reality

"Yes, that will be all. Thank you" I cut the call and threw my phone across the sofa, instantly thinking of ways to make myself feel better

In a spur of the moment decision and in a turn of events that surprised even me, I found myself in Jace's library

Those doors of wisdom are never shut. Like, never. I always seem to find them open even though they hold secrets that Jace obviously doesn't want me to find

On the desk, there was an envelope and a book underneath. I picked up the book underneath and settled into the chair

My interest piqued when I saw Jace's name written as the author of the book and thought that it had to be the book he'd been talking of writing and felt bad he hadn't bothered to let me know it had been published

Green Hearts

The title had me even more intrigued than finding the book, not that I even understood what it stood for or how hearts could be green

I aimlessly flipped through the book, my bored mind actually catching words around the near ending of the book

Saying I was surprised would be the understatement of the year

Scenes looked familiar, and characters sounded way too realistic to belong to some world of fiction

It didn't take me long to figure out myself as the supporting female protagonist who the main character falls in love with

I mean, it could have all been a joke or even a reference if I didn't find my everyday life between pages, my fathers, even all the darn times I let him fuck me

So I asked myself, What in the heckaroonie is going on here?

I opened the envelope I found with the book and found a letter addressed to some publishing company from Jace with complaints about not having any copies sent to him anymore

With my world slowly falling apart, my mind begins to piece his secret phones calls where he talked about book productions, all the things he wrote in that black book of his and how he literally appeared in the middle of my life, taking me by the storm

"Autumn, please hear me out" he takes a step towards me and I back away, a vile glare sent his way. I have no idea what to think right now

"Is that why you moved here all of a sudden?" I ask and laugh sadly to myself "All your bullshit talk of letting the world be your classroom and people you meet your teachers. You half in half, bastard!"

He stays silent and it unnerves me even further as his green eyes watch me through the fake ass tears he has in them

"There's no reason for you to be studying here; you're already an accomplished author. Why did you come?" I ask, really needing to hear him say it

He takes his precious time before his voice slices through the fog between us "Because I needed inspiration for my book."

"Oh my God" I breathe in disbelief and hold my head in my hands while trying to straighten my buckling knees

"I never meant to hurt you" he interjects

"Cap! Yet you still wrote me out in the secret book of yours, word for word. Acted like I meant shit to you and even still published it" it's more of monotone with myself, almost blinded out by the sound of rain outside

Why the heck am I still here?

I battle in my head while tears spill down my face and I finally decide to leave

My feet are swift as I run through his front door and out in the rain. His footsteps follow me, but soon they die down