For All Eternity

I'll Be Holding Your Hand

"Happy Birthday Baby," Joe whispered, rubbing her back, as she straightened up.

Dianne whipped her head around, so quick Joe was sure it should have made her dizzy, and looked right at him. There was an almost murderous quality in her eyes, as they burrowed deep into his unsuspecting soul. Joe instantly retracted his hand and shuffled back on his knees; in case it was his invading of her precious personal space that had offended her so early in the morning. "Really Joe?"

Instantly, even more than before, he knew he was, as his father would ever so eloquently put; in the shit- he was almost never just Joe. That was quite a funny thought, the YouTuber realised, causing him to smirk, at the wrong moment. His whole life he was used to being called Joe or Joseph so when he got his full name, he used to be terrified. But now, at 28, he was scared of being called just Joe by his lovely, though admittedly, mood-swing-y, pregnant girlfriend, especially after she had just been sick.

"Sorry?" he said in a rather questioning tone which he realised didn't help the situation when she fully turned and looked at him properly. Her body was shaking and somehow Joe didn't think it was adrenalin from being poorly that had caused it.

"Why would you say that?"

Joe wracked his brains, what on earth had he said to elicit such a reaction from her. Drawing a blank, after she had been staring for almost another full minute, he stuttered, "I don't. I don't, sorry. I er. I really don't know what I said, I'm sorry. Sorry."

"Happy Birthday Baby? Really? As soon as I've finished being really ill, you say that?"

Still not understanding, but trying to be as transparent and as truthful as possible, he explained; "I just wanted the first thing you heard on your birthday, other than me telling you to keep going if you needed and that you'd feel better soon enough and that you were okay was Happy Birthday. Because Dot, I didn't find it at all fair that you had been poorly, on your birthday, straight away, so I wanted the first thing you properly heard to be that. I'm so sorry though, I take it back if you want."

To his horror the scary look melted away to be replaced by her face scrunching up and tears lining her lower lashes. He darted forward, not caring if her mood returned back to angry and wrapped her in a hug, just as a single, perfectly formed teardrop slipped down her cheek and onto her bare thigh. "Joseph." Words couldn't describe how much relief he felt rippling through his body when she said his whole name- even though the tone upset him.

"That's so, that's, I'm sorry," she sobbed into his bare shoulder.

"What for? You were just expressing how you were feeling Gorgeous," he said softly, taking a towel off the towel rack, as it seemed to be the only thing to hand that he could stem her tears with. Carefully he dabbed under each eye and pecked her lips, "happy birthday honey."

Dianne smiled for a moment and then groaned, hauling herself up, to brush her teeth after thinking about pecking Joe with that sour taste still in her mouth.

"Can I help with anything?" He asked, still a little tentative, meeting her eyes through the mirror.

"Stop the nerves so I'm not ill?" Dianne laughed cynically.

"Was that what caused it?" He pouted, hugging her from behind, as she washed her face, trying to get rid of the blotchiness.

"Yeah. I didn't really sleep for nerves and then I was laying there and my brain just freaked out and then I was here being sick."

"Oh Darlin', it's going to go well. Maybe we could talk about it? The things you're nervous about, that is," Joe added, massaging her shoulders.

"I worry I'm going to go and there's not going to be a baby. Or there is going to be a baby but they've got no heartbeat. I'm going to go and they'll say their size is worrying or they aren't getting enough food. She's going to tell me I'm the same weight or less. That they won't be healthy. Mum said I had a weird kidney in gestation, what if I've given it to them. Or they suddenly think that I'm further along or the opposite way. And what if instead of them having a willy or a vagina there's nothing there. Or their foot's growing out of their tummy or," she was full blown panicking now, and paling by the second. Joe needed to calm her down before she was sick again or it turned into a panic attack.