For All Eternity

Death Is A Part Of Life

Connie could feel her eyes getting wet as she saw the adults around her crying. She didn't know where to look. Nana was hugging Pop crying. And when she looked to find Mummy, she saw she was hugging Daddy and Buzz all at once. And Mummy was crying loud. Her face was red and Daddy was trying to get her to calm down. Connie knew what that felt like when Daddy calms you down. She sort of felt like she needed it too. But Mummy was very sad, she needed him more, so she turned to walk back to her bedroom, Bunny, David the quokka and Meggsie her new stuffed cow could help her fall back to sleep.

"Oh Connie, couldn't you sleep?" Mel said softly, picking the little girl up.

"What happened?" Connie craned her neck trying to see back to the living room.

"Oh nothing, come on, I'll take you back to bed and sit with you until Daddy can get you," she said, carrying Connie towards her room.

"No!" Connie shouted as loud as she could.

"What's going on?" Joe said, moving Dianne off him onto Andrew, as Connie started fighting to get out of Mel's arms.

"Connie, easy honey-pie I'm here," Joe took her off Mel, shooting her an apologetic look.

"Daddy, Daddy," she wailed, taking big gasping breaths.

"It's okay, hey I've got you. I've got you." He breathed, holding her close, walking away from the epicentre of pain to the calm, quiet bedroom.

"Baby what's wrong?" He asked softly, swaying with her. This pulled him back again to those moments that haunted him.

"Mummy and Nana and Buzz. I just woke up and hear-ed crying and Mummy."

Joe took a moment to breathe a sigh of relief- she was just overwhelmed. He could deal with that easily; they could break through that in no time. He had been terrified it was going to be because of a dream- dreams were hard to explain. Her mother grieving- less so.

"They're a little bit upset. There's been some bad news," Joe sat on the bed, and crossed his legs behind her.

"What?"

"You know Dot's I mean Mummy's Pop. Pop Russo, who we went to see on Christmas day, the one who gave you a kiss on the head?"

"Nana's Daddy?" Connie sniffed, rubbing her eyes.

"Yeah, well he's not been very well and he died earlier that's why they're upset." Joe made sure he used the word died. He didn't want there to be any confusion and he knew saying 'passed away' or 'not alive' left her open to that. It was the very same thought process he had had in regards to Louise, though this time they were strung together correctly rather than being tied in a higglety pigglety jumble.

"Like tummy mummy? Louise?"

"Died like Louise yes. Not for the same reasons Pop was old, very old."

"Did he go to the sky too? To heaven?"

Joe nodded, "yes. Definitely."

"Mummy's really sad."

"Death is sad, isn't it? It's hard for Mummy and Nana and everyone to know that they won't see Pop Russo until they die. Mummy's probably going to be sad for a while, which is normal when you lose someone."

"But she didn't lose him though," she tilted her head in curiosity.

"I meant it's normal when someone goes to heaven. Do you remember how it felt?"

Connie nodded, wrapping her arms around her, "it hurted. I dibn't go to school."

"Yeah, so Mummy's feeling a little bit like that. Now can we try and fall asleep so I can hold Mummy tight and give her a hug whilst she's sad?"