Save My Soul

Decisions

I sit here and watch the beautiful sunrise over the city, lost in thought. Why did Mr. Blue Eyes run away from me again? I could feel eyes on me to my building, and I knew he was following me in my gut. But why? What did he want? I had so many questions for him, yet I couldn't get the guy to stay and talk to me.

I tossed and turned all night long, thinking about his gorgeous blue eyes staring back at me like he was staring right at my soul, searching for something he so desperately needed to find.

But what could he be looking for in a girl like me? Come on, I'm homeless and don't offer much to a guy like him. He looks as if he has lots of money and could get any girl he wants. So what was his infatuation with me? Did he want to help me? Does he pity me because I live in random abandoned buildings? Or was it something more that I don't yet understand?

I know that if he comes back today, I will smile and go about my day. I don't need pity or his money to make it out here on my own. I have done pretty damn well for the last three years; I am alive and healthy so that he can leave me alone; I'm not some girl in need or some charity case.

I pack up my things and make a run by the bank, I haven't been back yet to receive my card, and I had a couple hundred more dollars to deposit thanks to my newfound stalker. I needed the money he kept putting in my guitar case, but I would never tell him that. I could make it without, but it would take me a hell of a lot longer. And if he wanted to give his money away, I would gladly accept it. I am okay with it if he didn't provide me with shelter or anything else.

I leave the bank and run to the ATM to check and see how much money I have saved so far. $700 is not too bad at all; I wish I would have thought to get a checking account before. It really would have helped me save money. I know I have to give it to my new stalker for giving me most of it, but I can't bring myself to thank him. Because then the truth would set in that someone is helping me, and I wouldn't say I like the sound of that. I don't want to have to owe anyone anything.

I grab something to eat and head to shower; today is like any other day; I eat and sing for the people. I have done this same routine for years, yet I still have nothing to show for it. Maybe I do need help; I can't keep living this way. Where has it gotten me?

After my shower and a long walk back to my spot, I keep thinking about Mr. Blue Eyes. I haven't felt eyes on me all day, and I can't seem to wonder where he has been. I mean, he is by far the best-looking man I have seen in all of my life. Then he starts to stalk me, and then poof, he's gone. Hmm, none of this makes any sense. I wonder if I walk around where the kids used to stay, they will know who I'm talking about and can point me in his direction.

"Pips, hey, long time no see." One of the boys says to me.

"Oh, that's because you are too good to come to sing with me." I tease.

"Oh, now that's not true; we just have a good thing going here and don't have time to go out into the city anymore." The other guy says.

"Oh well, that's okay. I came by for a reason. Do you happen to see a guy hanging around here? He has dirty blonde hair, bright blue eyes, and tattoos. He's about 6′0 tall and always dressed to impress."

One of the smaller girls giggles, and her face turns bright pink. Well, I guess that answers my first question. Now, if they will answer my second, that would be great.

"So, do you know where I can find him?" I cross my arms and raise an eyebrow. It seems like my stalker doesn't want to be found. Hmm, I know the feeling all too well.

"Why do you want to find him? I thought you didn't want or need any help from anyone." The older boy laughed, giving me a hard time. I swear I have got to make a friend in this city, or I will go insane.