Save My Soul

Hold on I Still Need You..

🚨 Please listen to the music before you read the chapter. It's what's going through Sage's head. 🚨

-Sage

I have been pacing back and forth outside the bathroom for what feels like eternity. I stop ever so often and place my ear to the door to listen for sounds, just to make sure Piper is doing okay. So far all I have heard is her crying and a loud gasp. I can't take this much longer, I know she is hurting and wants space. But I need to know this isn't going to break her, she has been through so much and I just have a bad feeling this will be the one thing that pushes her over the ledge.

I start to pace again and stop dead in my tracks. I heard water spill onto the floor and the room is utterly silent. I go to open the door and she got up and fucking locked it. I bang and bang on the door but it's barley even moving.

I move back and get a running start and my shoulder just bounces off the frame. I can't even get it to crack. There is something very wrong and I don't know what to do, so I pick up my phone and call for a ambulance. I run down stairs and to the garage to grab anything I can find to bust through the damn door. There was nothing in here, so I run back upstairs and keep running at the door. I finally bust through and there she lays in the water perfectly still.

I put one hand under her head and one under her legs and pull her to my chest, I lay her on the floor and start doing compression's on her chest. No fucking pulse and no heartbeat. Fuck

"Piper please come back to me, hold on I need you please don't fucking leave me. I can't live without you, don't do this." I beg and plead with her to come back. I don't know how long she has been under water, but I won't ever stop trying to bring her back, this can't be it. I will not loose her, I refuse to give up on her.

I pump her chest for 30 seconds and then blow air in her mouth, I do this over and over until the paramedics arrived and took over. She spit up water and the rolled her to her side, her eyes rolled in the back of her head and she passed out.

I watch the paramedics load Piper onto the stretcher and put her into the back of the ambulance. My heart was fucking broken into a million pieces, I drop to my knees and started to pray she was going to be okay, that this was just a step backwards and she could recover from it. I just hope she wasn't broken and lost from me for good. Or mad at me for saving her, I mean I honestly don't care if she is mad for saving her, I would do it time and time again just to see her every day for the rest of our lives.

I run inside and shut everything off, grab her some clothes and lock up behind me. I would be by her side until she was ready to talk or come home. That's if she wanted to come home at all. I almost lost her, and I still might but I can't think about all of that right now. I need to get to the fucking hospital to make sure the love of my life is still fucking breathing.

I jump in my sports car and punch the gas, forcing it to move faster and faster, I need to see her, I needed to be there when she wakes up. I need to know what was in that fucking letter. But I didn't want to read it without her permission first. I brought it with me so I could ask her if I could read it. Just so I could understand why trying to end her life was a way to go.

I just wanted to understand what was going through her mind when she took her last breath. Was she scared did she think about me at all? What hurt so much that she would be so selfish as to leave me here all alone. What if that was me and I left her? She would be pissed and just as heart broken.

I know she has been through way more in life than I have, but I would never be so selfish and throw my life away and leave the people I love most in the world behind. I could never do that, and I know her brain works differently then mine, so that is why I need to know.

I walk to the front desk and look around, there are so many people in this hospital and I just take in the site before me. People who are sick that are fighting for their lives and Piper who is trying to get rid of hers. I sigh and turn back to the lady and ask for Piper Smith's room number.

"Yes Piper Smith is in room 407, are you a relative? If not you'll need to come back tomorrow during visiting hours." She stated

"Yes I am her boyfriend, she lives with me and I'm the only person who will be here to see her." I state getting madder by the minute.

"Okay here is your name tag, have a good night sir." She smiles and puts the sticker on my shirt. Yeah a good night, I'm in a fucking hospital and my girlfriend just tried to leave me in the worst possible way. What a fucking goodnight.

I round the corner to room 407, I take a deep breath and step into the room, I have no idea what I'm going to say to Piper, I don't want to upset her but I need answers. Like I need to know why she was hurting so bad she wanted to die.

I sit in the chair next to her bed and stroke her cheek, even in a hospital gown and a pale face she was the most beautiful woman I have ever laid eyes on. She was so fucking perfect and I wish I could make her see that.

"Why Pips, why did you do this to yourself? Why did you do it to us? Am I not enough to make you happy? Or do you hurt that bad that my love doesn't even relive the pain?" I whisper knowing she is still asleep, but I want to get it off of my chest because I'm selfish and wanted to be enough to keep her on this earth. But her pain started way before we did and I know I can't compare, but I just hope one day I could.

"It hurts so fucking much." Piper whispers. Fuck so she did hear me being all selfish and talking about us, instead of her and her mother. Goddamn why am I like this?

"Do you mind if I read the letter? I just want to try to understand." I ask her and she looks at me for the first time.

"You can, but it wont help you understand why I did what I did. But I will explain after you read it, I'm sorry." A tear slid down her cheek and she turned her face to stair out the window.

I pick up the letter and start to read, I instantly get it. Her mother loved her and wanted her more than life it's self. Piper read it as she would be disappointed in her after all her mother did to have her and Piper hated her for leaving. When her mother didn't have a choice, but she never knew that. She never knew someone loved her so much they died for her. And that broke Piper enough to want to leave here and go be with her mother.

I could ever compare myself to that, and I never should have tried. Piper loves me, but this is different. She has had so much hate in her heart at everyone who has done her wrong. And here I thought I could be the one person to heal her from all the pain. But then she finds out that her mother traded her life for Pipers, I would do just that. But a mothers love is something every child craves.

I just hope in the end she don't see me as selfish because I wanted her to live. If that makes me selfish then I guess I am, because I love her and I would trade my life for hers in a heartbeat.

"I get it Pips. I don't need you to explain. I'm just selfish and want you here with me. I can't live without you. I don't want to, and I don't think I could try." I look in her eyes and I see a spark of hope.

"Thank you for saving me, again. I don't want to die. I don't want to leave you. I was the one being selfish. I wanted to end my life just so I could see her. I just wanted to have her hold me. She loved me my whole life while I hated her. It's not fair." She sobbed. I crawled in bed with her and wrapped my arms around her rocking her back a forth.

"I promise I got you Piper, I won't let anything happen to you. And we can find pictures of your mom and hang them around the house, so she will always be with us." I kiss her cheek and start to dose off. I finally get it, and I don't blame her at all.

"Sage take me home!" She whispers