Save My Soul

We'll Rise...

🚨 Please listen to this song at the end of the chapter, when Sage gets in the shower.🚨

I wake up in my own bed feeling like the selfish brat I am. Why did I do that to myself? How could I be so selfish to leave Sage all alone? Sage saved me yet again, and I knew he would always save me. But it was about time that I saved myself for once.

I wasn't going to sit here and feel sorry for myself over the fact that I hated my mother my whole life, while she loved me more than anything. How was I to know she loved me and did everything in her life to have me. All I can do now is learn to love me too.

I will be forever grateful for my mother, It's like she fixed the pieces inside of me that was to broken to be fixed by Sage. It was abandonment issues, mommy and daddy issues. I thought they didn't want me or love me. When my dad doesn't know me and my mother loved me more then anything in this entire world. She gave her life for mine, and I refuse to give it up and do something so selfish as take my own life. She gave me her life and I will make it a damn good one.

I was in a state of shock last night and the only thing I had on my mind was that, my mother loved me and I needed to see her. Well the only was I was able to see her was to die. My dumb ass didn't even think, hey I would go to hell for killing myself, and my mother would be in heaven. Dumb, dumb, dumb.

I just wanted my mom. Knowing that she gave it all up for me didn't sit well. All she wanted in this life was me, so she could have someone to love her unconditionally and love someone back. But I already had that, because I have Sage. And I know I have a lot to make up for, but I will do anything for him to forgive me.

"Hey Pips you feeling okay?" Sage asks as he walks in my room with a tray of yummy food and some pain meds. I don't even answer him I just pull him down to the bed wrap my arms and legs around his body and hold on for dear life. He was my rock, my best friend, my lover, my shield, my protector. He was mine. And I have put him through so much in just a few months he deserves so much better then me.

"Thank you for saving me, thank you for never leaving me, thank you for believing in me, thank you for loving me." I whisper in his ear. I felt a tear roll down my cheek and I quickly wiped it away and gave him a small smile.

"Piper, you don't have to thank me, just promise me you won't ever do something like that ever again. If you need help we can get you help. The doctor said you was just in shock after finding out your mother was dead and you don't have a father. They didn't put you on suicide watch for now, but if something like this happens again they will make you get treatment." Sage takes my hands and kisses each of my knuckles. He smiles sweetly at me and kiss my lips so gently I swear I could melt.

"Sage I promise I won't hurt myself ever again. I came to realize that she gave me this life and it's about time that I start living and not wasting it on feeling sorry for myself. I have done so much to get to this point I can't give up now. It was a very selfish thing to do, and I have never been a selfish person. I don't plan to start now." I explained.

"No Pips you're not a selfish person, you don't have a selfish bone in your body. I will let this one slide for now, but if I start seeing any changes in your behavior I will ask you about it, and I expect you not to lie about it either." Sage kisses my cheek and took a bite of his toast as he winked at me.

"If there is something wrong with me you will be the first to know. But there will be a slight change in my behavior though. I plan on going for morning runs and getting my health up, I might use one of these spare rooms as a gym, I need to busy my mind with other things then self doubt. I want to build my strength, my mind, body and soul. If you would like to join me you can. But I know you use to have a routine before I moved in and if you want to get back to it I don't mind at all." I kiss his cheek and head to the shower.

Sage shakes his head at me and follows me into the bathroom. I strip my clothes off and let the hot shower wash all my bad thoughts and memories away. From this day forward I will no longer think bad thoughts about myself. I have a man who loves me and I have a job lined up, I don't need to pity myself any longer, when I had one of the most selfless mothers there ever was.

I will do right by her, and make both of our dreams come true. She wanted to be famous and sing her own songs, just like me. So that is what I will do for her and for me. I will prove to myself and to my mother that I will always cherish her selflessness and hold it next to my heart.

I will live my life for me and for her, she will watch me from above as I walk up on that stage sing for us both. She worked so hard for me and now it's my turn to work for her. And for myself.

"Sage I'm fine, you don't have to watch me. I promised you I wouldn't do anything to harm myself, and I meant it."

"Piper, I'm not watching you because I think you are going to harm yourself. I'm watching you because I'm grateful you are still here, living breathing and now your glowing. It's like a weight has been lifted and I can see the fire in your eyes and the determination in your heart. You want to live because your mother died so you could. I know you did what you did out of shock and sadness and pain. You have been through so much pain I knew this would break you. But you're a very smart girl and your mind bounced back to the good out of this instead of the bad." Sage rubbed his chin and shook his head.

"Why are you shaking your head at me? What is going on in that head of yours Mr. Parker?" I poke my head out and cock it to the side waiting for his answer.

"Let me take you out tonight. The doctor said you needed happiness in your life and you needed to be stress free. So what do you say?" Sage asked with a hint of hope in his eyes. I knew I couldn't say no to that face, and it was a damn good thing I didn't want to.

"Yes, you can. I would love to go out with you." I smile and finish washing my hair, I felt something I haven't felt in a long time, butterflies and happiness. I was truly happy. Sage loved me and my mother loved me. I loved me. I need to work on me, but I love who I am and I wouldn't change it for anything.

I started singing while I finished washing my body and I hear Sage gasp. I hurry and turn around to see Sage wrapping his arms around me still fully clothed. I see a tear slide down his cheek and he buried his face in the crook of my neck.

"Don't stop, please I want to hear you sing this song. My mother use to sing it to me when she put me to bed." In that moment I knew Sage and I would heal together and we would be just fine.

🚨Listen to song now!🚨

You're broken down and tired of living life on a merry go round,
and you can't find the fighter, but I see it in you so we gonna walk it out
and move mountains. We gonna walk it out. And move mountains..

And I'll rise up, I'll rise like the day, I'll rise up, I'll rise unafraid,

I'll rise up, and I'll do it a thousand times again.

And I'll rise up, high like the waves, I'll rise up In spite of the ache,

I'll rise up, and I'll do it a thousands times again

For you

For you

For you

For you

When the silence isn't quiet, and it feels like it's getting hard to breathe
and I know you feel like dying, but I promise we'll take the world to its feet
and move mountains, we'll take it to its feet, and move mountains ..

And I'll rise up , I'll rise like the day, I'll rise up,

I'll rise unafraid , I'll rise up, and I'll do it a thousands times again

For you

For you

For you

For you

All we need, all we need is hope

And for that we have each other

And for that we have each other

We will rise

We will rise

We'll rise ohh ohhh

We'll rise....