Cruel Destiny | Kylo Ren

Five's Request

Kylo's kiss was a tender moment that just couldn't wait. I try to flinch out of his grasp but I hardly had a moment to react before he pressed his tongue to the seam of my lips and indulged himself inside my mouth.

My eyes widen in shock and they watch the way his own close above his torn flesh. His face relaxed as if the universe began to fade away behind us—but here I stood, too awake in my unease.

It should've been slow and soft, comforting in ways that words could never be; but only panic began to rise in my stomach and tingle at my fingertips with a warning in its arrival: this wasn't right.

This isn't how I wanted my first kiss to be.

His hand rests below my ear, his thumb caressing the flesh of my burning cheek. In the seconds that it lasted, I never kissed him back; my spine too straight and mind too perplexed to be relaxed in what should be a wanted moment... but I didn't want this, I didn't want to kiss Kylo Ren.

For I had promised Five.

Willing my hands to unclench from my sides, I push Kylo with a gentle nudge on his solid chest. In an instant, I had pulled away and I could nearly feel the slight burn of the darkness inside of him as it rolled off my tongue and seeped down my throat.

Kylo's face draws from my own, his eyes flickering in a sense of examination. I can see the rush of shock dance through his watchful gaze—his silhouette over me, still smothering my frame like his lips once did. He knows what he had just done, cannot be undone and I watch those walls begin to slowly build higher than ever before when he realises the tears that fall from my cheeks and overlap his gentle touch.

He rips his hand away and turns, but the distance between our ragged breaths never widens.

I am at a total loss for words. Emotionless during a time when I am most emotional. I stare at his broad back, my eyes glazing over with an overload of processing—everything that has happened today, each taking a turn at tearing my soul apart.

It was like an overwhelming reaction. There is too much emotion to process and my brain is trying to kickstart itself into overdrive but my heart won't let it—as if it is a rear wheel stuck in mud. So despite shutting off my heart's vulnerability for self preservation... I begin to cry aloud.

My eyes still drip with tears and my walls, the ones high and strong that hold me up, just... collapse. Moment by moment, they fall as so do the salty drops that plow from my chin, drenching my blouse.

Everything was too much: Snoke threatening Five's life—Kylo Ren lying to me—promising Five to not let Kylo 'have' me... and now this? Kylo Ren, the cruel, the apprentice, the 'Jedi Killer'... kissing me as if we were lovers?

Kylo turns, but too slowly to be normal. When he speaks his voice trails steadily, like his words are unwilling to leave the lips he once pressed to my own. There is something beneath his eyes, the brown too glossy.

"In the ward..." He wavers, his voice low and husky. "—I thought this was what you wanted?"

He stares in condemnation as that wound upon his face burns in my vision the same as it had burnt his flesh. He was right. Earlier today I did want to kiss him, but that was before I was exposed to the Supreme Leader he looks up to so highly. It was before I found out he lied. 

My chin trembles and I shake my head, voice barely above a whisper, "Why did you lie?"

Kylo Ren's eyes harden as if he already knows what I am asking about, "What?"

"You lied to me!" I yell, tears still spilling down my cheeks, "Five is alive! Why would you tell me that he's dead?"

He swallows.