Cruel Destiny | Kylo Ren

The Distraction

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Teardrops paved the way for burning track marks that had singed themselves into my flesh; Scraping like asphalt to a child's, already, grazed knee.

The agony inside was more than the physical cries, but it was released in the form of desolate sobbing that comes from my soul who is holding its arms out in an embrace for false hope in the midst of something so dark, that it dies in the cold shadow with its arms morbidly empty.

My knees were brought up to my chest as a defence to not let any pain in, yet none of the terror I endure, out. I can't forget what had happened – And I never will. The only time the teardrops stop falling, is when they dry over the scorching hate that exploded from my crippling heart, only to return once again shortly after.

This is all my fault. I should've made sure he was on the escape carrier before The Resistance left.

I was going to save him. I was going to get him out of here and my only fear was the scars that escape should bring – Not knowing a dull nothingness would be the main conclusion to avoid.

My heart was as cold as the bare space beside me. The crisp sheets of a new bed, tormenting me of the fresh start that should've become my destiny. Hours pass by on this lonely mattress, and every time the storm finally calms and dwindles into the feathers of my pillow as my eyes finally droop, the sharp ends of the feather's, prick back into my skin as quickly as my memory replays the vision of a warm lightsaber draining the life out of a cold, Four.

So savagely and with no hint of hesitation from the monster who struck the weapon into a soul that was so lively, yet broken. Like a pebble to an already shattered window. There was never any remorse or repentance from Snoke for what he had done to my friend.

But, like a weapon, Snoke was only dangerous when he was loaded with ammunition. Project Destiny were his bullets. No weapon is threatening without a reason to be – And just like Snoke, I will not have remorse nor hesitation, when I weaken his power by stealing his resources and hide them away forever-more.

The devices were beneath the mattress, but I could still feel them under the layers – Like a Princess to a pea, only my pea was the responsibility of saving the ones I love in a metal key form.

I face the window of my new room – The quarters were almost the same as Kylo's old one.

Gods, I don't want to be here anymore – But I can't leave yet, for I have not even found the coordinates of my whereabouts nor have I found where the data device needs to go to cloak The Resistance's ship.

My stomach tenses. My heart burns. Bile rises up my throat, whilst the tears rise in my eyes.

There's the pain again.

My face creases and my fists close so tight beneath my chin that I can feel the sweat trapped inside them and the bruises begin to form on my jaw. I've never experienced grief this brutal before... Well, I guess I have only felt it once though, when I was shown the truth of my parents fate.

But this grief was different.

It sneaked up on me quietly and took me under its arms in an instant. I was lost, because I had lost a big part of me and I constantly searched for the pain to dwindle or burn out and die, because Four can't be gone. He was with me only moments earlier. We had spent so many weeks together and now I'm supposed to just let him go and acknowledge the fact that he is no longer a fabricated life to hold?

I miss him already. But, I couldn't get him back, no matter how much I wanted him so bad, as if my life depended on it but he was all gone, vanished in thin air.