Cruel Destiny | Kylo Ren

The Supreme Leader

The hospital room is devoid of chaos, whilst I am fuelled by dread.

Finalizer's hospital walls are not in the slightest, a difference in white to the rest, and it's illumination: no harsher. The room has an undertone of bleach and the floor is simply black.

I sit beside a window that is no bigger than the size of the trays from the Dining Hall—the galaxy beyond is still the same, but somehow not as beautiful as it looked from the view in Kylo Ren's quarters.

There are multitudes of intravenous drips and monitors that beep and buzz in the eerie air, all hooked up to the patient who lay there quietly. Kylo lies in the bleach tinctured ward beneath the thinning, white sheets and beside him, a curtain hangs limply on the chrome railing that was hooked to the ceiling, looking like it's been washed a thousand times.

The apprentice is so still in that bed that I would presume him to be dead if it weren't for the rise and fall of his chest or the beeping of the machines; the only indications of his heartbeat, one in which I would have previously presumed, did not exist at all.

But as I watch it continue to rise and fall... I figured that if it were to stop, so would my purpose—chewing on my bottom lip with nerve, only when I saw him nearly dead upon that stretcher, I realised that if Kylo Ren to die, the First Order would most likely be presumed ruined too. I needed him as much as he did, me.

Kylo Ren wasn't the best person in the universe, anyone could tell...but he was the only person I now have. Only when did I think for a moment that Kylo was truely dead, was when I realised I would have nothing without him. I have no home, no friends anymore nor parents. I fear that without Kylo Ren, I no longer even have a purpose.

What use would I be to The First Order without him?

There was a tiny glimmer of hope before, and that was the assurance of knowing Five was out there somewhere, but now... I cannot be so certain. I hadn't seen him come off any of the burning space-shuttles earlier today, so the little voice in my head tells me to abandon that tiny glimmer for it would be foolish to keep it around if it only results in pain.

My soul swam amongst the fire burning inside my mind and within the smouldering embers of a time where there had once been logic. But now, that void is being slowly filled with a cold, howling storm of longing that refused to ever let up.

I shouldn't be so drawn into Kylo's own scorching fire, and yet here I am... being lead to it like a moth who knew no better. Desperation is a violent force, and now I fret I have been succumbed to its might, and there's nothing I can do to bring myself away.

I sit in the corner of the bright room, my back pressed against the cold tiles that I was preoccupied with, as I dragged my finger along the thin lined edges—thinner than my strength.

Hours pass, while I waited for those brown eyes to show beneath their lids, and as every minute went by and they never opened, I never grew impatient... for I would rather wait here for the rest of eternity than face what is about to come.

The state of raw dread threatens to swallow my sanity whole; the fear travelled in my veins but never made it to my facial muscles or skin. If I think about it for too long the dread draws in on me, pulling the walls with it as it comes—for when I do think about it: all I want to do is make a run and hide, but I know even the door to this hospital room is locked.

Not to keep anyone out, but rather me, in.

General Hux hadn't said what time exactly I would be required to face the Supreme Leader, but he had said tonight, and though I cannot tell by the view from the window, the clock on the wall tells me it has already struck and end to day.