Cruel Destiny | Kylo Ren

The StormTrooper

It did it all night again.

With guttural, piercing cries and vibrating with every tone beneath my mattress, the little metal device that was now wedged up my sleeve had beeped, all night long.

The unsympathetic blaring of the morse code device had jarred me out of my sleep every hour; snapping me always sharply into focus and leaving me wide awake until the beeping stopped for another hour to pass—only to then begin to ring beneath the mattress once more.

This device was the reasoning for my subtle insomnia, haunting my night and ruling my tired day—it didn't help that with no light or land outside the windows, my soul was tricked into believing the endless galaxy was the night sky mocking me with eternity in it's constant gleam. I was tired. I was annoyed. After the initial anger left, my frustrations at this piece of junk now tucked in my sleeve—which would never grant me the courtesy of letting me drift into slumber—became only curiosity as to why it didn't let me do so.

In the short hours of darkness from the comfort of my single bed, my brain begged for unconsciousness and the tones to stop, but as soon as those blaring lights of Finalizer turned on to signal day, I had become alert and lucid.

There was a reason Arion had left the device for me to take... for me to hear the message she was trying to send—so terribly rudely and late through the night. There had to be something in those signal formations that was important, and I had to find out why.

I knew Four had a book on morse code translations and I knew I must ask him for it today, even if I'd rather spend the rest of the hours before Kylo returns to our quarters, tucked safely away in his bed and not that single mattress in my own solemn room.

Oh, his bed.

I almost drooled at the idea.

Walking down the crowded halls, I felt the impenetrable tiredness in my chest. It weighted down my lungs as if it was an anchor and dragged my thoughts in slow motion like they were tied to the rope that had helped drop it to the bottom of the ocean.

I could almost feel the silver beneath my eyes, stabbing gently into my skin as if someone was smearing a grey-led upon it, and even the bones beneath it ached with this fatigue.

How I wish I could throw this device against the sturdy hallway floors and kick the heal of my boot upon it... but I never did, for I know that even if the metal up my sleeve didn't keep me up all night long, my heartache would've done so anyway.
I realised now, that the tiredness came in both forms: physical and mental. The heartache I fought within, was once like a heavy jacket but when morning dwelled, it became heavy bones instead. It hurt me to say goodbye so easily, but I knew Five and I were both no longer the people we once were.

I knew that I had changed since those childhood days, drastically; but after seeing Five last night and the chaos he had caused in his own heartbreak and selfishness, I now struggled to even place his name to the man who had so easily played Kylo in front of me to prove something that I would never believe.

But in the end, he had somewhat succeeded what he wished to havoc, for last night: Kylo Ren and I had slept lonesome. Without the usual warmth of our souls laying side-by-side. And even this morning, he hadn't overstepped the fabricated boundary that Five had made him believe was now placed, for he didn't come in to say goodbye—instead, leaving heavily cloaked and ready for another day of duty, only now, he didn't wear the aftertaste of my lips upon his own.

My body needed to rest, yet my mind needed it to move; to burn the anxiety right out. I had to accept and move on, because the Five I once knew and held so closely to my heart, was gone and there was no way to get him back willingly.