Undone

24

" Did you have fun last night? With Alexa, I mean." Colby asked, turning to face me. His expression was hard, he looked upset. What the hell is going on with him? One minute he's freaking out over just talking to me and the next he looks like he's going to start yelling. " Yeah . . . Is this what you wanted to talk to me about?" " No, I'm just wondering, I forgot to ask you about it last night. What did you talk about?" My mind raced as I attempted to come up with something. Dammit, why did he have to be so nice? I love that about him, but not when I've lied about almost everything I've done in the past 24 hours. " A lot of different things. Mostly just girl talk." I lied. He chuckled, so now he's laughing? What is going on in his head? " So, she told you about her new boyfriend?" My heart stopped. " N-no, she didn't. She must've forgot?" Colby's eyes bore into mine, I was sure he could see right through me. After all, I could physically hear the panic in my voice. Why was I freaking out about this? Why did I feel so guilty about going out with Jackson? " Right." Colby said slowly. " Alexa forgot to tell her best friend that she has a boyfriend." " I-I don't believe you - why would she not tell me? How would you know?" He laughed, full body laugh, shoulders shaking and everything. " Ahh, well guess who her new boyfriend is, Jade." I didn't respond. My hands felt like they were going to explode from how hard I was clenching them. " Well, I'm delighted to tell you that she's dating Brennen." Oh God. She was dating Brennen? Oh what the fuck? Why did I lie to him? I could've just told him. Scooting closer to me, Colby sighed. "Where were you last night? Why did you lie to me?"  He sounded so hurt, why though? And why did I feel like I'd cheated? We weren't together. " I don't know." I admitted quietly. " You don't know where you were?" " No - I mean I don't know why I lied." " Okay. Where were you then?" " I had a date." 

" You what?" He said harshly. Colby stood up and moved to the other side of the room, scrubbing his face in his hands. " Sorry, I just . . . why would you lie about that? We aren't . . . we aren't dating." " I know! I don't know why but I felt bad, I felt like I was doing something wrong." He groaned and planted himself on the bed again, resting his head in his hands," You don't have any reason to feel that way." " I know, but I do. I mean, I did." " How'd it go?" " Um, not well. He was an asshole." Colby looked away from me, but I swore I could see a hint of a smirk on his lips. " What did he do?" I hesitated, I didn't really want to talk about it. " Multiple things. He was just an asshole, plain and simple. And he got really upset when I told him I didn't want to go out with him again." Colby's mood brightened a bit when I said that. But I couldn't stop replaying his face when I told him. The look of betrayal that crossed his face was etched into my mind. " Well, I'm glad you have good judgement." He laughed a bit. " Can I ask you something?" I questioned. " Yeah, of course. You can ask me anything, Jade." " Why did you get so mad when I told you about it?" His face turned red, and he bit his lip, his nervous habit. " Fuck." "What?" " That's what I wanted to talk to you about." " So you knew?" "What? No. I don't know how to say it." " Just tell me, Colby." " It's not that easy! I've never gone through this before." " Gone through what?" I asked, I was getting a little irritated with him. He had been dragging this on for what seemed like forever. "I . . . " "Colby, just spit it out. Seriously, it can't be that hard to just tell me!" Colby jumped up from the bed, his face red with either anger or embarrassment. I couldn't decipher which. " Really? It's just so easy, huh? How would you know?" "Why are you getting so upset?" " Why are you getting so upset?" I copied Colby's actions, pointing my finger at his chest," Because you won't tell me! Colby, what the hell is going on with you? You've come this far, just tell me!" " I fucking love you, Jade! Okay? I'm in love with you!" A beat of silence followed his outburst. I took a step back as his words registered with me. My heart was pounding out of my chest. Was he serious? By the look on his face, I'm guessing he was. I was hoping this wouldn't happen, but why was my heart pounding so much?

" I'm sorry." Colby whispered. " Sorry? Why are you sorry?" " You didn't want this. You made it clear from the start. I just can't help it." " I know. But you didn't want this either." He locked eyes with me, his filled with uncertainty," What are you saying?" " You never know what will happen. Our emotions change all the time." " Are you saying that you feel the same way or-?" " No, at least not right now. I could change my mind, though." I cupped his face with my hands, forcing him fully face me," I don't understand how you feel this way - we barely know each other." He leaned down and captured my lip with his, his hands wrapping around my waist and pulling me closer to him. His hips made me feel like fireworks were spreading throughout my body. Colby's hands made their way under my shirt, his cool hands pressing against my skin. I whimpered and gripped his hair in my hands. He sighed as he pulled away, but remained holding me. " Break my heart, Jade. Tell me you didn't feel something." " I can't." I breathed. " You can't what? You can't tell me or you can't break my heart?" " Both." I pulled him closer to me, crashing out lips together again. He smiled into the kiss, before pulling away just enough to say," I love you." " No you don't, Colby. You don't even know me." " Then let's change that. That's the whole reason I told you I wanted to hang out, to get to know you better. I kinda fucked that up, but still. What do you say? Jade Thompson, will you go out with me." 

Thank you all for being patient with me. School ends next week for me, so I'll be able to post more often. Stay safe and healthy and don't forget to vote! <3