Undone

28

I set my phone down in my lap, resting my head on the back of the chair. Alexa and I had planned on getting together with Brennen and Colby sometime, though we hadn't set an exact date. I wasn't very fond of the idea, but I knew Alexa wouldn't let it go. My head and emotions were everywhere with Colby. I didn't want to go out with friends, it would just end up complicating the situation further. A knock sounded from the other side of the glass, jolting me from whatever the hell was going on inside me. Colby waved at me from inside, a playful smile lighting up his face, showing off his dimples that would never fail to make me smile. I returned the wave as he opened the door.  " You okay out here?"  " Yeah I'm good, what's up?" He shrugged, a hint of a smile still on his lips," Just coming to check on you. You've been sitting out here for almost an hour." My mouth fell open, had I really? Man, I need to start paying more attention to the time. All of this was making me head cloudy. Composed was the word that was used to describe me almost my whole life, but these last couple months I had felt anything but that. My whole life had been thrown a curve ball when I met Colby. But the thing was; I've had more fun with him than I've had the last few years of my life. Business meetings practically lead my daily schedule. This was entirely new to me, and I wasn't prepared. 

 I was only in this for a bit of fun, never expecting it to come this far. I loved being around Colby, I just wasn't sure if I wanted to take it further. Maybe more could come from this I already agreed on going out with him, what's the harm in doing so? I knew he was nothing like Jackson. He wasn't perfect, no one was, but he was pretty damn close. He always knew what to say, even when he didn't understand what was going on. Even if I was literally loosing my mind, he could calm me down in an instant with only a few  words. I did thoroughly enjoy his company, and if I had to date anyone, it would no doubt be Colby. Everything I've ever wanted in a guy was wrapped up in that breathtaking man. " I'm coming in. Wanna go grab something to eat?" Colby nodded, waiting until I entered the living room before shutting the sliding door behind me. I began the mantra in my head yet again, only pausing when it came time to order our food. This shouldn't be this complicated, surely I was overreacting. Colby kept giving me worried glances, I had barely said a word since we had left his apartment. " Did I do something wrong?" He asked as the waiter left, leaving our food with us. I sighed, swirling my fork around, suddenly I didn't have an appetite. " No, you didn't." " Then what's wrong?" " I'm just getting too wrapped up in my thoughts. I'm psyching myself out a bit." Colby reached across the table, taking ahold my hand and lacing our fingers together. " What about?" " Us." His eyebrows shot up," You're going to have to be more specific." " I think I like you too." A smile overtook his face instantly, until he saw mine. "Is that not . . . good?" I pulled my hand away from his, running it up and down my leg nervously. " Not entirely. I'm terrified to say the least." 

His eyes searched mine feverishly, trying to see what I was getting at. " Why? Tell me what you're so afraid of." I was hoping he wouldn't ask that, cause I didn't know. Everything I guess. So many things could go wrong, and I wasn't sure I was ready for that kind of commitment. " A lot. What if this is all for nothing? What if we date for five years then just break up? We could waste so much time on this relationship, for nothing!" His eyes locked on mine, the blue intensity making it impossible for me to look away. In this moment I felt peace, I knew whatever happened I would be fine. I didn't need a man in my life, these last few years had taught me that much. But as much as that were true, I wanted Colby to tell me everything was going to be okay, that it would all work out in the end. "That's the point, Jade. We don't know what's going to happen, we have to trust that something good will come out of this, we have to trust each other. I know complications are going to come from my job, and yours, but that's expected. I'm willing to take the risk." He was waiting for my answer, telling him that I felt the same. A million different thoughts were running through my mind. I shoved my anxieties down, they could wait for later. "I'm all in." "Are you sure?" I nodded, reattaching our hands," But we can't tell your fans until we're like married. Cause they scare me!" He laughed, shaking his head," I understand, they can be a bit. . . extra." "We both know that's an understatement." 

Thank you guys so much for sticking around for my unexpected break! Don't forget to vote and I'll see you soon (hopefully)! <3