Janto oneshots

I love you

They were sitting. That's all, just sitting. Sitting on a picnic blanket, staring at the stars. Just a year before ianto died. The Welshman and his captain. Unstoppable until, of course, one of them was stolen. "I love you." Ianto had confessed softly into the silence. Jacks gaze hardened slightly "what do you want me to do with that information ianto?..." he got no answer, so he carried on "I don't love anyone... I don't even love myself". There was silence for a few minutes until those beautiful welsh vowels he loved so much broke it "you should". "I should what?... say I love you? For what? To spare your feelings?" Came the immortals reply a little too bitterly. "No... you should .....love yourself" ianto replied softly his voice slightly thicker, showing raw emotion. Jack heard the younger mans short intake of breath before the welsh vowels continued "never say anything you don't mean because you think you should". A few more moments of beautiful silence had passed before jack found the courage to speak again "I love you too" it was barely a whisper. Just for ianto.

****

Jack smiled tearily in his office as he ran his finger over a picture of ianto on his desk. Ianto had been 26 that night and 27 when he died. Too young. Too innocent yet not innocent enough. Too loved. Too anything to just be taken from the world like that. Like a pawn on a chess board, the most important piece in the game but so overlooked until it was gone and you wished you'd done more before sacrificing it. The deaths of the others? They were necessary. But not ianto jones. Never ianto jones.

****

"Catch me if you can!", iantos voice rang out through the hub as he waved jacks vortex manipulator above his head. The others had gone home and jack got to see the more relaxed side of ianto that they didn't. Ianto had rid himself of his blazer, tie and waistcoat. His top button of his shirt was undone and his cheeks were flushed from running. He grinned cheekily at jack and spun out of the captains grip. Jack had laughed and took off after him easily catching the Welshman before pulling him into a kiss and plucking the vortex manipulator from his grasp. "You win", ianto had admitted defeat breathlessly and leant against jack contentedly.

****

Ianto had been 25 and a half. Jack shook his head lightly, smiling at himself. Since when had he started to measure his life based on how old ianto was and not how old he himself was. His vision blurred as he opened ianto's file and selected the video file named 'For when I'm gone: Jack's eyes only'. Jack smiled "he always did like to do things properly" he muttered to himself with a half smile before wincing. It was the first time he had referred to ianto in the past tense out loud. Somehow he pressed the button on his mouse and the video flickered on. Jack watched ianto sit away from the camera and smile slightly. The captain realised that he looked how he did when he died not how he had looked in his video goodbye to the team. Jack wiped a tear from his eye as he checked the date the file was uploaded. It was just days before the welshman's death. "Jack...." ianto on the screen began "if you're seeing this then as you know... I'm gone. I'm making this now because I doubt I'm going to make it through this 456 thing. To be honest maybe I don't want to. Jack I know I'm the weakest of the group and you only keep me on because you pity me. I probably told you this when I died... if you were even there but I love you so much. It's okay if you didn't say it back ... I'm not expecting you to ... you only ever said it once before after all and I'm not sure you meant it. But I do want you to know more than that. Jack you're the most amazing most mind boggling, most .... beautiful man I know." Jack huffed out a laugh with the Welshman on screen as he dried his eyes "anyway I'm rambling. I want to say that please remember. Remember me even if it's just for a year and remember this one thing. No matter what you have done or who you have hurt I will always forgive you. And I will always love you." A sadness seemed to overcome ianto as he said "even if you don't love me. It's okay jack I've seen the way you look at Gwen and tosh told me about the real captain jack. Hell I even saw the way you looked at John. But I guess I'll have to do. That's all I wanted to say jack. I'll always love you and no matter what you do You'll always be my hero." Jack hadn't even noticed the sobs that wracked his body as he stared blankly at the screen. "I love you ianto jones" he whispered to the pixelated image on the screen. But it was too late. He stared at the man he had failed. The man who had so much potential. The man who had died thinking he was nothing when really he was everything. He was everything to jack and everything to torchwood. He was never the weakest member of the team he was the strongest and jack didn't pity the young Welshman, he admired him. But ianto would never know that now. Ianto would never know how much jack meant those three tiny words. And jack would just have to live with that. Forever.