Promise

7.

Mrs Middleton and i weren't able to take the same bus home. Because i had to go to the stores to do the groceries. Her bus arrived afther only 2 minutes of us waiting. I hugged her goodbye (mrs Middleton was the only person i would hug). My bus wouldn't be here for another 15 minutes, so i decided to sit down on the bench next to the busstop. I looked around me, but i saw nobody. So i grabbed a cigarette from my pocket and lit it.

I know smoking is a bad habit and it could kill you but i also calmed me down when i was feeling anxious. I started smoking when i was 13, i wanted to be part of the cool people. Now i just steal them from my uncle to make myself feel better.

The bus came and i got on it. 20 minutes later i got out at the store. I quickly grabbed a few things for dinner, a lot of instant noodles and cereal. I didn't really have money for more. I was the one who had to pay the bills and the food. Which meant i had to work a lot. I worked nightshifts at the local gas station, which i am pretty sure was illegal to do for a 15 year old. But my boss didn't care so i also didn't.

I walked home because i didn't feel like taking the bus.

I shut the door behind me as i walked into the house. It didn't really smell like alcohol which made me happy, mabye he was actually serious about improving himself. "I'm home with food ". I walked to the kitchen and wanted to get started on dinner. My uncle walked im and leaned against the doorway.
"I miss her" he said.

He was talking about his wife, my aunt. She had died 3 years ago. I didn't really know her because she lived far away to take care of her family. She died the week afther she said she was finally able to come home to him. He had never forgiven himself for what happend. He always said it was his fault, that he could've just moved with her and he would her help her take care of her sick mother. But he couldn't because he had to take care of my brother and i. Thats when he started drinking. He didn't know how to deal with all the emotions and no one was there to help him with that.

I looked at him with sympathy " It's okey to miss her, it's okey to still feel sad"

"I don't think i am sad I'm more angry."

"Angry at who?" I said while washing the tomatoes and laying them on the cutting board.

"At myself for not being there to safe her"

I was happy that he was talking about what he was feeling. He almost never did that.
"You know that it wasn't your fault, you couldn't have safed her from a heart attack"

He suddenly hit his hand against the door frame and said with a angry and loud voice.
"You don't know that. You don't know anything"

He scared me when he hit the doorframe causing me to cut my hand with to knife i was chopping the tomatoes with. "Fuck" I quickly put a towel around it.

My uncle went into panic mode. "Oh shit, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said anything"

"No it's okey, you didn't say anything wrong at all. It's all on me"

He ran his fingers through his hair and said "I need a fucking drink" And with that he left the house.

I had idea what the fuck i was supposed to do. My hand was still bleeding after an hour and i already had cleaned it and put new bandages around with twice. I was beyond dizzy, I've hadn't eaten anything today. So i decided that that was the best thing i could right now. I definitely didn't feel like cooking so i just ate some instant noodles and drank some water. But i still didn't feel any better after that.

I unwrapped the bandages to look at the cut and i immediately felt like throwing up. It was a very deep and wide cut that was still bleeding. "Fuck" I had to go to the hospital, i had no other choice. I looked at the clock, i was already 10 pm. Normally i would start to get ready for work at this hour. But i texed my boss to say i had an small accident and wouldn't be able to work tonight. He angrily replied back

Boss: fine, but i won't pay you for hours you aren't here.

I'm pretty one night not working wouldn't hurt my salary. I worked 4 days a week at that gas station, but i was pretty sure that after I went to the hospital i would have to take more shifts. Hospital's weren't cheap.

I was about to walk out to door to go to the hospital, but then remembered my bruises. I ran back inside to check if my make up was still in doing its job. And it did, i didn't look as pretty as it did in the morning, but it wasn't there to pretty anyways. I walked at the door ,a bit slower this time because i felt really dizzy. I walked to the bus station only to find out i would have to wait 40 for the next bus. There was no way i was gonna stand 40 minutes alone at night outside with a bloody hand. So i decided to walk. I had calculated that if the bus ride to the hospital took 15 min than my walk would probably take 40 min.

I had hoped that my calculations were wrong and i would only have to walk 25 min but they weren't wrong. I wasn't even able to walk in a proper straight line because i was so dizzy. After what felt like 2 hours i arrived at the hospital.

I took a deep breath before entering the ER. I walked to the nurse behind to desk. "Hey i think a need a few stitches in my hand"
She smiled at my and said "Sure just fill in these forms and a doctor will be right with you" she gave me a clipboard with papers and a pen. I sat down and tried to focus on reading the words but couldn't. So i just signed it were i was suppose to and hoped i hadn't accidentally signed an agreement to let them harvest my organs. I handed it back to the lady and she told my to sit down again until my name was called.

I sat back down and looked around. It was very empty and quiet which i didn't think it would be. But it was Friday 11 "o clock so there probably weren't a lot of people who needed to go the ER right now. There were only 2 another people sitting in the waiting room. They looked like they were together but wasn't quite sure because my sight was to blurry. My hand had stared to severely bleed through the bandages and bood was now dripping onto the floor. I quickly pulled my hand close to my chest to make sure i wouldn't create to much of a mess.

I sat back and let my head hit the wall behind me. I hoped that i didn't have to see the same doctor's that treated mrs Middleton. Especially Luke, he would ask to much questions. And my brain felt to tired to make up any excuses or lie.