Embracing the Chaos (Eclipse Series #1)

Chapter 18

I don't know how should I respond to him when he asked me that. Sabog ata lang ako sa buong study session namin tho I tried so hard to focus on learning but I kept on zoning out the whole time.

How can I say to him that place was still my safe escape?

When that safe place should protect me but hurt me instead? It broke me a million times. It disappoints me. It ruined me... ruined us. The family I supposed to have. The family I longed for.

Handa na nga ba ako na makita si Daddy ulit? Is it really okay to meet him? Pinakiramdam ko ang sarili ko, wala rin akong sagot na mukha.

"I don't know." I sighed.

It's been days since we talked about it. Naayos ko na rin ang mga kailangan kong maipasa na requirements at mga activities sa school. Lumipas na lahat.

Final exam na lang ang hinihintay ko nito. Tapos, malapit narin ang birthday ko. Ni hindi ko man namalayan na lumilipas ang mga araw. I sighed again.

Nalilito parin kasi ako, ako mismo sa sarili ko alam kong nalilito ako. Tho, Axel never ask me about it the other days. Ang sabi lang niya, it's still my choice if I want to go with him and see my Dad again or not.

I dmed him in ig.

sachives

Let's go in La Granciaga to meet my Dad together. Uwi na lang tayo bago exam :)

In the end, I still ended up fixing my things after informing him. Hindi ko malalaman if hindi ako pupunta roon.

I video call Wyn to ask her what should I do. I'm tempted to go in La Granciaga at the same time kasi wala pa naman schedule ang uwi ni Mommy. She's in France and fixing some of our business over there.

Naalala ko pa na lagi akong grounded everytime na binabalak kong tumakas to see him. There's one time na nahuli pa ako sa akto na tumatakas doon.

Nag-impake na ako ng mga comfortable na damit ko dito. I've never stay in La Granciaga but I'm not ignorant in there.

"Are you sure?" Tanong ni Wyn, she's doing her skincare routine. "I mean ikaw ba? You're fine with it or what?"

Naupo ako sa kama. "Hindi ko rin alam e. You know, I want to know what happened behind, pero.."

Bakit ba kasi puro pero ang buhay?

Pero takot ako sa kalalabasan at sa maaring maging sagot nito. Pero ayoko malaman at the same time kasi baka masaktan ako. Pero, takot ako na baka may mali pala ako all this time.

Pero hindi pa ako handa.

Pero, puro pero. It' sucks.

Pinangungunahan ako ng takot at alam ko sa sarili ko na hindi pa ako handa kaharapin ang lahat. Hindi ata ako kailanman magiging handa doon.

"Pero takot ka?" She concluded.

I bit my lips as I slowly nodded.

"I'm not in your shoe to speak but you will never know if you don't go there yourself." Saad nito sa akin. "It's been seven years narin 'no? Tho, don't push yourself if you're not ready either."

I smiled at her. "Thanks, Wyn."

Ngumisi ito. "I hope it helps!" She said, sinuot nito ang isang golden mask niya. "Always, welcome. Enjoy mo stay mo sa may La Granciaga at ako na bahala na magdahilan kay Tita." Ngisi nito sa akin.

Napangiti agad ako. "Omg, sure ka ba d'yan? Thank you, love you mwaps!"

The call ended after that.

I slept thinking about it. If it means to happened, it will. Kinakabahan lang ako kasi hindi ko na alam paano ko siya kakausapin. Should I be formal or be more neutral? Ewan, bahala na.