Embracing the Chaos (Eclipse Series #1)

Chapter 45

What the fuck. Just what the fuck.

Padausdos kong nabitawan ang door knob kasabay ng panlalambot ng mga tuhod ko. What did I just heard? Did I heard it right?

Ramdam ko ang pangingilid ng luha ko dahil sa nalaman ko. Anak din ni Mommy si Jeena? Does that mean, Jeena is my sister?

I don't know what to think at this moment. How should I react on it? What will I do with this information? What should I feel? How should I act in front of them? Should I act like I heard nothing? But how the fuck?

Gulong gulo ako. Hindi makapaniwala.

Maraming katanungan ang umiikot sa isipan ko at wala akong masagot ni isa sa mga 'yon. No, there are answers swirling in my mind but it's too vague for me to keep them up.

May mga sagot na hindi ko matanggap at hindi ko maintindihan kung bakit ganito at hindi ko man inaasahan. Ni hindi man lang sumagi sa isipan ko ang narinig ko.

Was this kind of joke? I want to laugh.

"When will you planning to tell her?" Tanong ni Dr. Zamora, agad na natahimik si Mommy at hindi na siya makasagot. Her silence made Dr. Zamora sighed. "Sachleia is a grown up lady. I'm sure once you tell her about this she will understand, Sera." He assured.

Napasalo ako sa bibig ko. Is it really true?

How did this happened? Did she kept this on me from the start? Pero bakit kailangan niyang i-tago! Worst is, why would I need to hear it accidentally and not coming from her?

If she told me early than hearing it accidentally maybe I could understand this. Pero sa ngayon? Wala akong maintindihan at gulong gulo ako habang nakikinig. Bakit kailangan pa nilang i-tago sa akin 'to ng ganito katagal?

Ano pa ba ang hindi ko alam?

Kaya pala. That's why Jeena reacts that way when Mom got up into accident. Kaya kahit na akala ko hindi sila magkadugo noon, malapit sila sa isa't isa. Unti unting nagsink in sa akin ang lahat, as in lahat ng mga interaction nila na inakala ko co-incidence lang.

It was like a bomb exploded, a reality slaps.

Na 'yong taong kinainggitan ko dahil malapit ito sa ina ko ay kapatid ko pala. Anak din siya ng ina ko. We came out from the same womb.

Pero paano nangyari 'yon ng hindi ko man lang napapansin? Am I too dumb for me to not to notice or I just ignored the details?

Umiiling ako ng paulit ulit hanggang sa unti unti ko maramdaman ang pag-atras ko, I had an urge to run away from all of this. Ramdam ko rin ang pagkirot ng sentido ko, sinalo ko ito habang patuloy paring umaatras palayo.

This is the only answer I have right now. To run away, to get out from all of this, again.

Again, naduwag na naman ako.

But I froze when I feel I bumped to someone's behind me. I guess, that bump triggers my tears to stream down through my cheeks. Nalaglag din ang bitbit kong basket ng prutas na siyang lumikha ng ingay, dahilan kung bakit napatingin sina Dr. Zamora at Mommy.

"Sachleia.." I heard Jeena mumbled behind me, "Let us explain...this is just a misunderstanding." She said.

How many times did I hear that shit again? Muling kumirot ang dibdib ko, why it's always the misunderstanding thing? Alin pa ba ang hindi ko alam at ang hindi ko maintindihan?

Ilang beses ko na nga bang narinig ang word na misunderstanding na 'yan tuwing nasa ganito na sitwasyon ako? Why don't they just tell me that they doesn't want me to know about their little secrets and get lost in my life!