Embracing the Chaos (Eclipse Series #1)

Chapter 23

As usual, grounded ulit ako. That's just a usual thing for me since before, palagi naman kasing nac-cut ako sa halos lahat kapag may nagawa ako na hindi pleasing para dito.

"Grounded ka? It's been a while," Tanong ni Wyn, she's wandering inside of my room. "And Tita Sera wants you to apply on IFA? Understandable, you own a clothing lines." She added, tumatango na parang gets niya bakit ako focus ko ang fashion designing.

Tho, it's really my choice, naunahan lang talaga ako ni Mommy tungkol dito.

"Yep ang sagot ko sa both. She wants me to apply as in now na," Nguso ko at umasim ang mukha ko habang iniisip 'yon. "But.." I hesitated when her gaze darted on me.

"But what? You don't want to fly sooner to Paris?" She concluded, napapailing siya na parang kilalang kilala na ako. "And you don't want to leave Axel behind?" She added.

Pinitik ko ang kamay ko sa ere. Tumpak.

That's what I'm thinking and she got it immediately. Ayokong iwanan si Axel dito but at the same time ayoko rin na ipagpaliban pa 'to. This is my long time dream, takot pa akong magpaalam para dito. She's now giving it to me, freely.

I should grab the opportunity but..

"So, what's the plan?" She asked.

I sighed. "Hindi ko rin alam. Hindi pa naman ako sure if I'll pass the entrance exam in IFA?" Alanganin kong saad dito, I bit my lips.

"Gaga!" She said, lumapit siya. "Don't try to ruin your entrance exam for that reason. Regrets would remain in your for the life time and this is a rare opportunity Sach, it's a long time dream." She said, pursuing me.

I know, at hindi ko naman 'yon binabalak na gawin or what. I'll set it aside, hindi ko lang alam paano ko sasabihin kay Axel if ever man na sa pumasa ako sa IFA.

Kaya nga hindi ko rin alam kung ano ba ang dapat kong gawin this time? I don't want to choose between my dream and my man. I know I can hold on them both, it's just that I don't know how should I hold into them.

"Don't worry, you don't have to choose naman e," Inunahan niya na ako, she sat beside me and tapped my shoulder. "Axel will understand you. Atsaka, matagal pa naman, ah? Huwag mo munang isipin."

Tumango ako sa sinabi nito.

"And nga pala, may gig pala sila sa Delight." Saad nito. "I just heard about it, from some of my friends. Balak nga nilang pumunta, want to come?" She asked.

Umirap ako. "No, thanks." I said.

Naiinggit ako pero hindi ko 'yon sasabihin. Bawal kasi akong lumabas. Birthday ko na the other day, too. Sa violin lesson ko ako naka-focus for my prepared performance.

Atsaka, I don't want to flustered Axel about the IFA thing for now. Ang dami na niyang cinacatch up na lesson and plates for me to add pressures and worried on him. Dami rin nilang ginagawa, pati na ang thesis nila. He set them all aside at that night when he needed to pass it the other day. I feel bad.

So, ayokong istorbohin muna sana ito this day and kahapon din hindi ako masyadong nangulit for I want him to focus to do what he supposed to. But a sudden gig? That's too much work, paano ang mga tinatapos niya?

"I'll go take an entrance exam with you," She said. "Mom agreed, tho." She added.

Umuwi na si Wyn after nitong punahin ang kwarto ko. As usual din, puro complains siya kung gaano kagulo ang buong kwarto ko, ngayon lang naman naging ganito kagulo dahil nanatili ako rito ng ilang days din.

Kinuha ko ang phone ko sa side table, I want to ask him if he's okay with that gig. Ang tight na nga ng sched nila dahil malapit na ang finals, tapos ganito pa? They are over working themselves, nakakainis lang.