Hamesha, Yours!

-6-

"So, Mukti what complaints do you have? We didn't sing well? The pay isn't enough? The lime-light isn't enough? Wha.."

"The friendship's not enough, Manik!" Mukti cut him in between. "This isn't enough! Where are you lost? Where and the hell, why? Why are you going in the opposite to what she said! She let you go to grow and not to succumb!"

Manik sat in silence taking it all in. It was twice in a day he was told that. He wasn't a fool to not know that. He knew somewhere that running for fame and externals would not take him anywhere close what Nandini wanted. She would never wish that how so ever much she changed. He knew every time an album was out and the billboard had him up, he was farther from Nandini. Not that she didn't want him to touch the skies with his music, but because she knew, he knew that for each billboard, each flight, a part of him smashed to the ground. The conundrum for him wasn't to find himself. The conundrum was how to find himself without being vulnerable to the beasts while letting go. How could he rewire when at the same time, he was at the heights where every other fellow would pull his leg down, where may be even his friends could fall with him or make him fall.

"Stop it, you guys! Kya kar rahe ho? Mutki, please don't start this all over!" Navya calmored. "Dekh liya, uski nadani ne kya kar diya, Cabir! Do you see this mess! Manna ki uski yeh intention nahi thi, but after all, look what happened! Where do all five of you stand? Where does everything point at? Tum sab itne door hi! And I'm so far away from her why because she took an impulsive decision. That's it! Because she every time chooses to run away! Manik ki galati nahi hi ki tum sab ese khadre ho!"

"But, Navya galti kahan hi sirf uski! She just pointed stuff out and if this idiot can't get it then... phir we all right right now! May be then, just exploring ourselves is right for now!" Cabir delineated.

"Nahi, ab hum galt hi! Koi yeh nahi kahe ga ki jo bhaga hi usko beth kar kuch smajhaya jaye! Thodri akal di jaye! Koi yeh kyu nahi dekhta hi tumhara nuksna uski khairiyat se hi ab! Uski nadani ke karan hi!" Navya irritated at the childishness they all had within them.

"Us logic se toh Dhruv is at fault Navya! 'Cause he started all of this. It's a chicken and egg blame game here, pehle kon aya!" Cabir sighed in annoyance. "You can extend this to years ago when all were kids. You can then blame today's circumstances in years then when Manik's dad married Nyonika and then what happened with Harshad. If you want to be more ludicrous about this, then Manik ke anscetors ki galati hi! In fact, humare ancestors ki bhi. What's the point in this blame, then?

"To show her the light that she was wrong to run away. That's it. Dhruv galat nahi hi because he stood for what he was fed or what he thought. But, she is wrong to have run away leaving everyone without answers!"

"That explains you only, Navya! Not him!" Cabir exhausted himself and ran his fingers through his hair.

"And that also explains how and where you guys stand too! Tum ne aur Nanidni mein koi khaas farak nahi hi!" Navya exasperated, "Woh khud ko samne na la kar is duniya mein khoi thi that she was doing right and tum log fame ki chaka-chondh mein gum ho kar samajh rahe ho ki you are finding yourselves! What a great achievements, you cowards!" Navya stomped off.

A moment followed after and the air thickened with reality. Everyone saw it, and everyone accepted the blame, the parallels and everything, yet none of them had the nerve to say it aloud in front of each other.

Manik picked up the glass full of water and stood up,

"To the gimmicks of Fab 5! Cheers! The meet is over."

He drank the glass to the last and walked off.

---------------

"Manik ruk!" Cabir shouted from behind and ran behind Manik who carelessly walked towards his car opening a bottle of beer. "Hold up buddy!"

"For what? For whom?" Manik sulked and turned towards him, leaning on his car door and sipped on.

"For me!" Cabir caught up to his breath.

"Kyu? I thought I was proclaimed the coward for my once-upon-on-at-time friends and love!" Manik satirized dryly.

"You know she can be too.." Cabir explained.

"Too much?" Manik completed, raising one of his eyebrows. "It was a party without alcohol! Want some?" he asked offering the bottle while Cabir nodded negatively. "Why are we running from the truth! Sach hi toh keh rahi hi, Madhubala, for once! We all are running away. Me from you, me from her, me from Fab5, me from home! Haad hi, mein toh Studio se bhi saab se pehle nikalta hu!"

"Manik.."

"No hold on Cabir! Jisko meine itna dhundha, jinke liya I brought myself together for Stardust's album offer for all of them I get all the blame!"

"No one is questioning that, Manik! No one is blaming you! We are only saying to chase the right path!"

"So akhir galati meri hi hain na!" Manik laughed off and took a sip. "I love her and she left, blankly for once I didn't hold her back! But, I came back, I turned around, asked her, faced everything for her and still.."

"How many times will you try to be in love with the one you left? How many times will you try to prove yourself?" Cabir sat besides him in the parking lot.

"This story will begin and take off from the same place it seems!" Manik scorned.

"No, it will begin and end only if you think it was a story at some point!" Cabir pointed, dazed in the design of the road.

Manik furrowed his eyebrows and looked at Cabir amused, "You mean to say we were never a thing?"

"Yes, you guys were never a "thing". Manik, you still on the same path!" Cabir rationalized. "Itna sab kuch hua, itne sawal, itna rona dhona and you still are stuck in the cycle of "give and take"! Did Nandini fail that utterly?"

"I didn't mean it like that!" Manik took his words back and hide his eyes.

"Drunk or depressed people never lie, you know that."

"Woh kehti thi mera jesa ek hi peice hi!" Manik said lost, a worn out smile breaking on his lips.

"Tu hai hi- single piece, nut case!"Cabir joked.

"Of course! Would I be forgiven then?" He asked expectantly.

"Depending on how utterly you understand to hunt for yourself now?" Cabir challenged.

"Truly!" Manik said with wide-eyes. "Dr-drunk people never lie!" he hiccuped.

------

"Hello?"

"Saxsena! It's me!" an excited voice introduced itself.

"Oh! Hey, how are you?"

"Awesome!" he chipped back.

"You seem to have news by your squeaky voice?" he questioned.

-------------------

Hey, 

Bummer Harshad? I told you the wait would be worth something! 

Happy reading! 

Love, 

HF