Hamesha, Yours!

-35-

-Goa: St. Mary's-

They walked and they walked- down the pathways, between the trees, along the breeze. The clock was striking 12. The event had ended with a beautiful melody, as people said. She had sung, sung as if she was singing like her five-year self in the choir.  She walked down lost in the melody- it was her mother's, and she was unavoidable here after all she thrived her now. Nandini walked down sinking into the familiarity this place shrieked to her. May be now was the time. 

The pup and her walked until they gave up. They walked in the garden until Nandini's gaze stuck on the cold, black metal gates. They were high, intricately designed to cover the ruins it held behind. The air had moistened up, her heart felt heavier too, her face hung low. The gravity of those metal gates weighed everything down. Pulling herself together, she pushed opened the gates- the handle dampened by the many who had come here before with tear-kissed faces. Her little buddy besides growled a bit in pain and tiredness, after all no one could escape the gruesome solemness and grief this place bestowed once its gates opened.

She walked down the hill, between the flowers that bloomed besides the trails that led to rough protruding gravel which covered the remains and coffins of gone-bys. Over head tombstones stood there shining, decorated with letters that spelled out beloveds.

"Come on, pup!" Nandini hesitated to encourage and he pulled back from the trails she took. His panic-stricken face with moistened eyes held a story of their own. His feet shuffled away from her mimicking what she wanted to do. He didn't want to be here, either. Knowingly, Nandini sighed and blinked her eyes at him,

"It's not a choice and anyways- this is where stories end. Remember our walk that day was quite a bit incomplete? So why not narrate one here, you are safe!"

Her little buddy howled slowly but then lowered his face continuing behind her. Nandini walked her way down-away from the rush of the graves into a secluded place. A place that was kissed by the sun, surrounded by low rock, unkept but natural, homely sublimity.

She braced her heart and crept up slowly to the stones. A mature writing spelled out words that were tied in a box. Words that were formal, distant, unloved and dictated followed after. Words at which her eyes burnt and shunned away, that made her look up at the childish writing above.

To the ones who were loved,

To the ones who blessed,

Rest in Peace.

Karthik Murthy & Rose Murthy

May 17, 2004

Blinking at their stale stateliness, she sighed and keeled down on the back side of the tombstone where her old, shaky scribble writing hid away from the world, just like herself.

With love, Mum and Pa.

~May 16, 2004~

She closed her eyes, pressing her lips against the stone embracing in the warmth it had to provide to all her broken pieces and memories. The mellow music. The laughters and giggles. The shining light. The honking car. The sudden breaks. The terrifying bang. Shivering murmurs . Dead silence.

The pages flashed faster than the reality. Nandini moved away from the stone. Her heart beating fast against herself and breaths erotic as if back from that day, afresh. She wiped her hands against her sides and he crawled back away from the stone. Bad idea. Closing her eyes, she went back to the rock where her little buddy sat staring intently at the graves . She propped her self besides him and pulled a water bottle and a strip from her bag. She gulped the contents down and sighed in relief.