Musical One Shots, Imagines and Preferences (Requests Closed)

If Everything Ended - Dear Evan Hansen - Connor x Reader (Warning)

Requested by Rapunzelreag. Apologies for the delay and I hope you enjoy it. There is also a trigger warning, as there will be discussions of suicidal thoughts.

It was a nice day, and you and Connor were out on a walk through the woods. It was your favourite place to go, as it was really the only place you could be alone. It was quiet, and peaceful, and no one but the two of you mattered out there. You were strolling happily, hand-in-hand, enjoying the scenery and not thinking about anything else. But Connor wasn't acting normally today. There was something about him that didn't feel right. He wasn't acting like himself. Eventually, you settle down in your clearing in the woods, under the old oak tree you always sit under.

"Connor, are you feeling okay?" you ask after a while, "you don't seem like yourself today."
"Yeah, I'm fine," he replies. You're not convinced.
"Seriously, you are not acting like yourself. I'm just worried about you," you say. He turns away from you a little, just so he isn't looking you in the eye.
"I said I'm fine," he replies.
"Don't lie to me, please," you say. You tilt his head around gently, and you notice how bloodshot his eyes are. You thought he was just tired earlier, but now you see how red the skin around his eyes look. It looks as though he was sobbing all night.
"What's wrong?" you ask, slightly sternly.
"I'm not happy," he says. You wait for him to say something else, but he doesn't.
"That's normal," you say, "but it's more than just that, isn't it?"
"Are you a therapist now?"
"I'm your girlfriend, I'm just trying to help you, and talking helps."

"Fine," he says, "I've not been happy for a really long time, and I've tried different coping mechanisms, but nothing worked."
"Is that what that weird smell is in your room?"
"Yeah. Nothing helped. Nothing was getting better. Life at home wasn't great, and you're really the only person I have. I've been thinking that maybe, if everything ended, it might be okay. Everyone might be better off."
"What possessed you to think that?"
He looks at you, a little confused.
"I'd be devastated if I lost you, so would everyone. You have so many reasons to live," you say, "I won't pretend to understand why you're thinking like this, but the least I can do is help you stop."
"You'd be upset if I died?"
"Understatement of the century," you reply. He smiles, and almost laughs.
"That's what you should be acting like. People would fall apart if you died. Who knows what would happen."
"Do you really mean that?" he says. He sounds a little choked up.
"Of course I do," you reply. You see tears beginning to form in his eyes, and one rolls down his cheek. You brush it away, before he bursts into tears. You quickly pull him into a tight hug. You stroke his hair as he breaks down on your shoulder. You don't try to stop him, as you know he really needs this.
"Don't worry," you whisper into his hair, "I'm here for you."

You hold a weeping Connor in your arms for forever, until he calms down and stops crying. He pulls back when he feels like he can. His eyes are bright red, as is the skin around them.
"Do you feel a bit better?" you ask him.
"Yeah, a bit," he replies.
"A good cry does tend to help, but I promise that I'll help you out in any way I can. Whenever you need to talk, I am here for you, no matter what," you say, "and if you need to and I can't be there, ask someone. You'll always find someone to talk to. Just take everything one day at a time."
"Thank you, (Y/N)," he says.
"It's the least I can do," you reply, "I wish I could do more."
"You don't need to."
"I want to," you reply, "do you want to stay out here, or head back home?"
"Let's stay here for a while. It feels safer."

You two end up sitting under that tree for hours, talking about random nonsense and having a good time. You watch as hope begins to return to Connor's eyes throughout the day. You hope that he can find professional help soon, as that will help more than you can, but you will do your bit.
"It's getting dark, maybe we should go home," Connor says.
"Sounds good to me," you reply. As you get up to leave, Connor grabs your hand.
"(Y/N), would it be okay you I stayed with me tonight? I just don't really want to be alone," he says.
"Of course," you say, squeezing his hand, "let's just stop by my house so I can get some clean clothes for the morning."
The two of you walk off onto the shaded woodland path.

You eventually make it to Connor's house and go straight to bed. You both quickly change into your pyjamas and curl up in bed together.
"(Y/N)," he says quietly.
"Yeah?" you whisper back.
"Thank you for today. It really helped," he says.
"What were you expecting?" you reply, "I love you, I have to help you. You deserve it."
He holds you a little tighter, and you both eventually fall asleep in each other's embrace.