I hear my door slightly crooked open. I slowly opened my eyes, followed by the tight feeling in my face caused by my dried tears and heavy heart. My eyes adjusted in the darkness and when I realized what's about to happen, I got out of my comforter and sat up trying to find my bunch.
The dark room was suddenly illuminated by a yellowish color light. I heard someone say "1...2...3".
They started to sing and everything felt okay.
"Happy Birthday to you..." sumungaw na lalo ang mga ulo ng aking mga kaibigan at tuluyan na ngang nakapasok.
Through the lights, I can see some baloons and of course the cake with its candles causing the dim lights.
Shelby was the one holding the cake. She was smiling at me so I smiled back. Tears in my eyes when they ended the happy birthday song with "We love you, Dale..."
It warmed my heart.
"Take a wish..." si Myca habang nakita ko na din si Tati sa likod niya na may hawak na phone at hula ko ay nag-vivideo na.
"Baka ang chaka ko diyan ha..." Sabi ko sa napapaos na boses na ikinatawa naman nila.
"Dehins po." Narinig ko kung saan si Gabi.
Pumikit na ako para magpatuloy na sa pag-wiwish ng narinig ko ang bulong ng tarantadong Jelo at Leo.
"Sana po magising na ako sa katotohanan..." si Jelo, kasunod noon ay isang lagapak ng kamay na hindi ko alam kung kanino galing dahil nakapikit ako.
Narinig ko naman ngayon si Leo. "To more gins po."
Mga gago talaga...
Lalo kong pinatagal ang pag-wiwish ko kasi alam kong nangangalay na si Shelby. Napangiti ako ng naisip iyon. Nababaliw na ata ako.
I go through the wishes I had for the past years and it was the same, because I always wish for happiness. But knowing that it is hard to find for me right now. I wished for something better.
'I wish for this bunch to continue to grow and love each other the way we know how to. May we be something I would always be proud of.'
After that I blowed my candle and expected my room to be in darkness again, but it never came. Bumakas ang ilaw at nakita ko ang tropa ko sa harap ko. Noong una ay hindi kinaya ng mata ko ang biglaang pagkabuhay ng ilaw kaya napapikit ako. Nang imulat ko ulit iyon ay ang pag ngiti na ang nagawa ko.
Tiningnan ko sila isa isa.
Halos lahat sila ay naka pajama at si Tati lang ang medyo kinulot pa ang buhok at bihis na bihis.
"San ka galing?" Tanong ko, may garalgal pa ang boses dahil sa pagkakagising.
"Bahay..." Oh! Akala ko naman nag-bar siya.
"I know...duh! Eh kasi naman sabi nila magpipicture daw edi syempre, ready ako!" Medyo may pagirap niya pang sinabi.
Nakaupo pa rin ako sa kama at medyo na-aawkward dahil sa huling tagpo namin sa Quezon Avenue. I slightly bowed my head not wanting to say anything...but I heard my name being called by Amanda.
"Here...drink some water." Sabi niya habang inaabot ang tumbler ko na ilang linggo ko nang hindi nadadala sa school.
Her, wearing a grey oversized silk pajama shirt being very casual and homey. Tinitigan ko lang ang tumbler... dahilan ng pagkaantala ng lahat ng boses sa aking kwarto. Kahit si Jelo ay hindi man lamang umimik.
Bumuhos ang luha ko at umiyak na nang tuluyan.
"I'm s-sorry," I said in between my sobs.
Agad naman siyang lumapit at niyakap ako ng mahigpit. "You are not at fault because you loved. But you are slowly destroying yourself because of it, and we never want that."
