Beautiful People

Six: Cyrus makes an appearance for once...

Keia's POV

Hey, this is a quick warning. This next chapter contains a lot of deep feelings and opinions that Keia has. As we all know, she's been through a lot. So some of the things that go on inside her head are what might offend or creep people out. Stuff like suicidal thoughts are probably not the best thing for some of the youngest readers (yes, I know there are kids who fake their ages on this platform) to be reading as it may give them bad ideas about how they should feel if they are going through this kind of situation. So Read with your own risk. Not because you just think you can handle it.

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I kept running. I mean walking.

I don't want to talk to anyone. I don't want to see anything. I don't want to breathe.

I just wish I didn't exist.

Selena did make one thing clear to me: no matter what I do, there will always be people who won't give one about me. No one cares. Quinn is gone. Cyrus is still a (rude word of your choice) and there goes whatever hope I had that there was something left to live for.

Keia, don't say that. You are still the same girl Granmama fought for to live, my goodie said.

I like to think of my brain as five little people. Each has their qualities and colours. One is my good side. She's healthy and pink and never as broken as me. Another one is my bad side, she's red, determined, unfair and selfish, even to her own host, me. She causes me to have the darkest thoughts in the wrong times. Like when I'm in the shower.

Something about bathrooms make me feel uncomfortable. Maybe because Granmama was killed and found with a large piece of a broken mirror in her head. Ever since I can't look in the mirror without wincing.

One of my brain people is Memory. She is the fattest of them all. She is also the most depressed. She loves the sound of her own voice and often bullied Goodie into letting her take control of my life. I hate her more than the others. She is the pain of my existence.

Hope is the fourth one. Slowly everyday, she get more and more malnourished. She is slowly shrivelling away. Until one day she'll be gone and I will have to give in to her sister, Pain. Pain is in cahoots with Memory who is secretly working with Baddie. Baddie was placed in charge of poisoning and strangling Hope and Goodie everyday. But Goodie is stronger than Hope and she escapes every so often to whisper the good things I have to live for. Whispering my parents and grandmother's advice.

She's the only thin piece of thread I'm holding onto. Keeping from letting myself fall into the ocean of death. The place Baddie is trying to lead me, Suicide.

I go into an alley nearby the bus station. I can't walk any further. I collapse into pitiful sorrow on the ground, not caring about my hands are getting scrapped or my knees have fallen on broken glass. I have not a care in the world. Why should I when it can't reciprocate?

The cold night chill passes as time flies. One hour, two hour, three hour. Selena is probably cosy at home or at some other guys house. Cyrus is probably eating dinner with his father and little brother, Michael in their four storey house uptown in Jason Avenue. He is probably thinking about what happened tonight but being too much of a coward to do anything about it.

I'm here, in a dark alleyway in the middle of the night, not enough will left to make me go home and feed myself. I hope if I freeze out here long enough and starve myself, I'll die and I won't have a guilty conscience that I killed myself.

I take off my sweater and boots and remain in my tank top and leggings for modesty. I lie on the ground in a foetal position and close my eyes sobbing like it's all I can do.