To the One I Love

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To the One I Love

You know yourself, which is why you're reading this against my wishes. I never intend for you to read this as it contains feelings I never want to hurt you with.

I'm in love with you. That much is true. But I'm afraid I can't live you forever. I hate to break it to you but, I don't feel like we'll ever be together. I can feel it every time you touch me. Every time you kiss me. A small voice at the back of my head whispers unknown words into my heart. It hurts me so much to feel it drop a little every time you hold me.

It hurts so much.

I know there's a way to fix it. Or at least I hope there is. I know there is. I just need to find out exactly what it is. It scars me every night thinking about how wrong our lives are turning out.

There's something I haven't told you before. Something that scares me will scare you away. I don't deserve you. I can't tell you this in person. I don't think I ever can.

I was raped and left for the dead when the street Lord had me kidnapped. He kept me in a dark room with a leaky sink and had me forced into by a masked man on the last day. I thought that was the last day of my life. I could feel death from pain, hurt and starvation coming. After I was tattooed and knocked unconscious, they left my body in a dark alley for my parents to find me.

When they did, they sent me to the hospital. I was in for four months. It was the worst days of my life. Trauma treatment, surgery, the attention. I hated it. It was before then did they find that I had started having dreams. Very strange dreams. I would see the past of people I didn't even know, sometimes, I would see the present of those around me.

But in all my life, ever since you saved me, you have been the first who I have seen the future of.

I'm not meant to tell you what happens, and I won't. In fear that you will find this letter. The secret of the life ahead of you torments me every night. It is pure torture to see this. And it only worsens the effect every day I see your loving face.

I love so much Cyrus Jesse Templeton, but I can't. I'm afraid of what happens if I do. I can't let myself go so weak to the love you give me. I don't deserve it. I've caused you so much pain, and as much as I would like to deny it;

You would have been better off not ever meeting me.

I apologise in advance. I know there's nothing to say. There's nothing I can do. Just time to wait for fate to come.

I could never forgive myself but..

I'll have to end this. I

-Your KJ, it was nice being that.

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I hate myself. No, I hate my fingers. Their the authors of this story, not me. They are maniacal and shall be tamed one day..

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-Layla 😔

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