Runaway Bride//COMPLETED

Chapter 22

Decision

Ngumiwi ako habang tinitignan siya. I am not ready for this. Hindi pa ako handa sa ganitong pangyayari. I don't want to forget everything easily.

Umiling ako. "No. You don't need to be sorry, Aiden, let's forget about it, I've already moved on from it. Besides, there were no feelings attached diba? Hindi mo naman ako gusto noon? Kaya okay na, let's move on."

He clenched his fists at yumuko.

"Kaitlyn, let me explain. Alam kong may kasalanan ako," Aniya.

"No, there's no need for an explanation. I don't need your explanation," Seryosong saad ko at kaagad na kinuha ang handbag ko. "I came here because I wanted to tell you that I won't accept that marriage, kung anong napagkasunduan ninyo ni Mom at Dad ay hindi ko desisyon iyon kaya labas na ako doon."

Kinuha ko ang box ng singsing na ibinigay niya sa akin noong Christmas. Inilagay ko iyon sa table at dahan dahang tinulak papunta sa kanya.

"This is the closure that we need, Aiden. Hindi na dapat tayo magpakasal pang muli, hindi na natin iyon kailangan," Mapait akong ngumiti habang tumitingin sa kanya. His eyes were bloodshot and he's clenching his jaw. "I want to marry a guy who loves me truly."

I hold back my tears. Hindi ko gustong makita niyang umiiyak ako. Tama na ang apat na taong paghihirap. Hindi na ako iiyak pang muli para sa kanya. Never.

"We need to accept that we aren't for each other. Goodbye, Aiden. I hope you will also find a girl who you can truly love, thank you," Inilahad ko sa kanya ang box ng hindi niya ito kinuha mula sa table. Anger, worry, and frustration is written all over his face.

Tumayo ako. He isn't talking. I need to go.

"I still love you, Kaitlyn," Iyon ang nagpahinto sa akin. Namumungay ang kanyang mata at parang hirap na hirap. "For years, I wanted to forget everything about you but damn, it's very hard. It's so damn hard, darling, help me."

"I wanted to love another girl but I can't! Every single night, I think about you. Kaitlyn, I fell damn hard, and I can't stand again," Umiling siya habang tinititigan ako.

We are facing each other, tears are evident in his eyes, so as mine. I can't help but to cry, thinking that this is so much for me, bakit ba paulit-ulit nalang akong sinasaktan? Hindi ba pwedeng isang beses lang?

"Huwag mo na akong saktan muli, Aiden. Please," I can hear my voice shake. Nanginginig na din ang kamay ko dahil sa pinipigilang luha.

"I am not lying, Kaitlyn. I am true to my words," Sabi niya. "Please, darling, I wanted you back again."

"True to your words? So are you telling the truth when you told the press that you don't really love me?"

Yumuko ako habang bahagyang pinapahiran ang mga luha ko. Bakit ba kasi ang dali kong umiyak?

"No.... That was the only time I lied, Kaitlyn. At dahil sa pagkakamali kong iyon, nawala sa akin ang babaeng pinakamamahal ko," Hinawakan niya ako pero umiwas ako. You can't touch me, Aiden.

"Now, tell me Kaitlyn, what can I do to get you back? Please, I am willing to do anything just to have you back. My life is a mess without you."

I am looking at the guy who I truly loved but then broke my heart into a million pieces. This is him now, I wanted to hug him tight, but I wasn't the old Kaitlyn anymore. The feelings were already gone. He was my first love, he was my first heartbreak. He was my first all.  First love will only teach you pain, based from experience.

"I need you to go, Aiden. You want me back, but I don't want you back. I don't love you anymore, " Umiiyak ako habang sinasabi iyon. He's hurt by my words, it was very evident on his eyes. I wanted to wipe the tears off his face but I don't want to feel my heart beat for him anymore. I wanted to hug him and kiss the pain away but I'm afraid that it would bring back the old Kailtyn who is very crazy for him.

"I need you to be gone. Give up on me because I am giving up on you."

Tumalikod ako at humakbang papalapit sa pintuan. Hinigit niya ang kamay ko at niyakap ako ng mahigpit.

"I already know everything. I'm sorry, Kaitlyn. I'm sorry for the pain that you've gone through. Please.... Give me a chance."

Niyakap niya ako ng mas mahigpit ng nagpumiglas ako. I am wiping my tears away. Naramdaman ko din ang mga patak ng luha ni Aiden sa coat na suot ko. He's crying! He's freaking crying! I don't know how to react!

"Stop crying, darling," Sabi niya. Siya rin naman ah? Umiiyak din naman siya!

"You stop crying first," I said, trying to enlighten the mood. I hate crying, it will only make my head ache. "Get over it, Aiden. Please."

"I can't get over it, Kaitlyn. It's so damn hard to forget you, I miss you so much," Hindi niya pa din ako binibitawan. Ramdam ko ang hininga niya sa leeg ko. At unti unti niyang pinatong ang kanyang baba sa ulo ko. Since he's tall, he would crouch if he will hug me.

"If I tell you that I miss you too, Aiden, will you let me go?"

"I will never let you go, Kaitlyn. Please, give me a second chance."

Second chance.... I don't believe in that. What if he will just break me for the second time? What if he will just hurt me again?

Love is sweeter the second time around but I'm not a believer of that, because love is always sweet when there is no pain. Love means you will do anything to not hurt the person you love. Love is when you will accept her truly without fooling her. It means sacrifice, it means cherish, it means forever. So if it doesn't last forever, it is still not love.

Kaya kung sakaling magmahal man ako ulit, I need to limit myself, not to give my all, and to love myself more. Because self-love is everything. When you loveso much, you also need to expect that there is pain.

"Bumalik ka na, Kaitlyn, bumalik ka na."

Hinarap niya ako. He's now facing me. I am facing the man who hurts me so much. My first love. Aiden Amell de Leon.

Unti-unti niyang inilapit ang mukha niya sa akin. I was expecting for a kiss. Pumikit ako at hindi natinag. I was waiting for his kiss. Pero naramdaman ko ang labi niya sa noo ko.

"Pag isipan mo muna iyon, Kaitlyn. I won't rush you," Niyakap niya ulit ako at iginiya papunta sa upuan. "Naghanda ako nito para sayo at aalis ka lang agad? No."

My feelings were slowly getting out of hand. I need to stop this.

The beating of my heart, the heating of my cheeks, these are very familiar. Ang rupok mo, Kaitlyn! Isang yakap at halik sa noo lamang ay bibigay ka na agad! You wouldn't waste your four years moving on just to give in to him just this easy.

Marupok! Marupok! Marupok!

Nag slice siya ng steak para sa akin. Seriously? I can slice a steak by myself!

"Think about us, Kaitlyn. Think about everything that we've gone through. And when you have decided, if your answer is yes, wear this ring on my party," Sambit niya.

I nodded. So... What should I do? I'm confused!