Ruthless

Glimpses of the past

It was raining heavily. The torches fire danced with ferocity as the wind made its noble appearance. I have been living here at my sister's royal palace for more than a month. I deeply disliked the way she handled the helpers or slaves as she would call them. To my displeasure she had taken a notice of a girl worth noticing. It filled me with unwanted jealousy. I have never quite felt such emotion towards my own sister, not even when father and James preferred her over me, but now there was something I truly wanted with all the heaviness of my undying soul and she seemed to be such as enthralled, though she proclaims love is a human weakness. I saw it regardless, the curiosity in her eyes each time Carina was around.

"Lady Keana, it is so lovely to see you." That nice voice took me out of my sinking thoughts. The rareness of her voice was beautiful like a melody lost yet found at sea. It gave me the same sense of finally finding that place meant to be more than just a place I frequent, where nights are cold and days pass me by all the same. This was completely different, it felt like breathing again as the young naive and free girl I was once upon a time. I was falling in love with a mere human heart but an everlasting soul and if I am lucky enough then maybe she feels the same way about me. 

"What a pleasure to see you so early, will you accompany me for a cup of chamomile tea?" 

"It would be my pleasure." We walked to the gardens speaking of everything yet nothing. Small talk that actually had meaning and made my stomach wild. Another servant brought us the tea upon request. Perhaps without meaning to, the servant stared longer than usual at Carina, it made the blonde girl look away. "Is everything alright?" I asked once the other maid had left. "They believe I am being favored by a ruler, humans are just as complex as any other creature, dare I say even worse." Her statement although true, filled me with sadness. "I do not wish to bring trouble upon your only friends here." She smiled sadly. "I like to think I have a friend in you Keana." Oh how I was dying to be more than just a mere friend. I was new in this field of romance and love, yet I was not new to longing and lust. In the past I had succumb to them both and it was filling while it lasted yet quite empty when it was over, which is why I know this is different. It did not feel fleeting. 

"You may have anything you wish of me." We both took a sip of our warm tea simultaneously. I wanted her to know how I wanted her close, but not close enough to frighten her. It was her decision what to see me as. I just wanted her to understand that. No men, no women, has ever felt like her before and it terrifies me yet I am so open to explore this if she allows me. "You have been so welcoming since your arrival. Let me make something nice for you, tonight I shall prepare your favorite meal and we can have it right here as the sun sets." I am sure if I had warm human blood it would rush up to my face, instead an overwhelming happiness erupted within me. I am sure she could not prepare my favorite dish since after my metamorphosis as I like to call it, it has been blood. Though as a human my favorite dish was cream potato soup with fresh baked oat bread. Quite simple and effective. 

"It sounds lovely." Was all I said then, just to over power the real eagerness underneath. If then I would have known that our time was limited, I would not have held back from loving with every single fiber of my being. I wanted to wake, my time with Carina provided me the best and most hurtful memories of my immortality. I couldn't wake, my thoughts are aware that this is a dream like fantasy of mine, glimpses of the past yet I was not allowed to wake from it. I liked to think of this as a humbling reminder of what it is to love something and lose it. 

~•~•~•~•~

Dawn came soon to my pleasure. I got suitably ready with a very good gown and my most exquisite perfume. As I saw her approach the table in a lovely yet simple dress my skin prickled with the radiance of these feelings. She was magnificent. "You look beautiful." the words escaped my lips before I could stop them. The smile that appeared on her delicate features reached her warm brown eyes. "So do you, my lady" "Such formalities Carina, please just call me by the name given to me by my mother." I teased with a sense of truth. If she kept the formalities I was afraid of never walking away from them. "A friend shall bring our dinner." On cue a small woman beside a young lad brought us the soup, bread and rice wine.