IN THE PAST.

ITP - 6

CARMEN

It's 10:00 PM in the evening and we prepared ourselves for our deep talk. Because I have to tell everything about my past. WALANG LABIS WALANG KULANG. This is it. This is the entire truth. So, I made a coffee for the both of us. For sure, mahaba-habang usapan 'to. So, I saw him.

So, umakyat na ako and we decided to talk on the balcony instead. Medyo maluwag naman kasi dito and it's kinda romantic. Ewan ko, I love going out pero never mo ako makikita sa mall. I'm not into shopping like any other girls. I just want to be in the park and balconies. Like this. Kaya hindi rin nahihirapan si Ariel pumli ng spot kung saan niya ako dadalhin kasi hindi naman ako maarte and I love balconies. PERIOD.

So, may dalawang upuan and table na enough space para malagay namin ang snacks and coffee. Also, bilog ang shape niya.

"So, what's with the date?" He asked and chuckled and I can sense na kinakabahan siya. So, he's making me smile even if ang bigat ng pag-uusapan namin ngayon. And the reason why he asked me that question because I was the one who set that up. So, I just laughed and somehow nawala ang kaba ko.

"Babes, I'm here to tell everything. Everything about my past. Walang labis, walang kulang." I said to him and nabigla naman siya because he never forced me to make kuwento or tell the story. Kung ano lang ang kaya kong i-kuwento sa kanya, he didn't ask for more.

"Babes, I don't care about the past...." Hindi na niya tinuloy ang sinabe niya because I put my index finger to his mouth telling him to stop. "Babes, you've been an open book to me. And hindi ako nakakatulog sa gabi knowing that I have a secret on you. Before we settle down, I want you to know me. I want to be an open book as well. It doesn't matter if you'll be mad because I kept this for a long period of time. But, I guess, this is the right time. Wala naman talagang tamang panahon sa mga bagay bagay. But today, I have decided to submit all to you. So, let me, babes." Malambing na sabe ko sa kanya and he smiled.

Hinawakan niya ang kamay ko at hinalikan. "All for you, babes. I'll listen." My heart melts when I hear the assurance. So, hindi magiging mahirap sa aking ang lahat. Pero, ba't nga ba ako kinakabahan, 'di ba? Didn't I love him enough to trust him?

"Let me finish to tell a story first before ka mag-ask ng question, okay babes? I don't want to miss every single detail ng iku-kuwento ko sa'yo." I instructed him kasi kinakabahan ako and I don't know where to start actually. Pero, bahala na. I let my mouth talk and I saw him smiling and hinalikan ako sa labi ng smack lang. "Yes po, babes." So, sagot naman niya sa akin.

"I'll start with the reason why you haven't met my Mom." Paninimula ko and nakita ko namang he's listening eagerly. "The reason why he wanted to stay in the States was because he saw my Dad cheating. Not just once, twice, thrice, more than you can imagine. Or baka nga more than pa sa bilang ng daliri natin. And then I saw them as well making out and I just closed my eyes. Sinundan ako ng Mommy ko and doon niya nalaman that my Dad still cheating on her. When my Mom found out that I was crying. She promised me that she'll be strong for our family. And that's the time that my Mom stopped forgiving my Dad. According to my Mom, kung siya lang daw ang nasasaktan kaya niyang i-handle. But nu'ng nakita niyang ako na daw 'yung nasaktan ng Daddy ko, that's when she realized that she had enough." I felt like I was near to cry that is why pinunasan ko muna and nakahalata naman siya kaya hinawakan niya ang kamay ko even tighter and I know that signal. Signal that he will just be there for me.

"The second reason why my Mom had to migrate to the States, because she can't fulfill my needs. Thankfully, she had a friend whom she can trust to look after me. It was Tita Myrna. Umuuwi siya kapag may occasions. And, she stopped 2 years ago. Because she can't travel because of her health, I keep asking her to come back here pero ayaw niya. Besides, there's my half sisters and siblings naman daw to take good care of me. So, I managed to have facetime with her at work and gusto ko kasi kapag nakilala mo na si Mommy, gusto ko personal. She knows you, she knows that we're living on the same proof. She keeps insisting pa nga na gusto na niyang magkaapo." I laughed and he was just looking at me which is kinakabahan ako.

"She wanted to meet you kaso hindi nagtatagpo ang oras natin. Remember that I asked you to go home early? Kasi magkausap kami nu'n and she wanted to see you. Kaso everytime that I'm trying to have time, our time gets complicated. Kaya after nu'n, hindi ko na sinubukan. I just let the time kung kailan mo mami-meet si Mommy. And now, magaling na daw siya so her flight will be next month. And she wanted you to be there kapag sinundo natin siya." I said and I saw that his smile was back, that is why medyo nawala na ang kaba ko. But we're here now to the real story.

"Going back to my past, while Mom was in the States, I was raised by Tita Myrna. As she promised to my Mom that she will take good care of myself. Hindi naman siya nagkamali or nagkulang sa akin. Para ko na rin siyang tunay na magulang. And the reason why you haven't met her is because I cutted her out of my life. I don't want any communication with their family. Because of his son." I stopped because my heart beat faster than earlier. Kasi ito na 'yung reason ko kung bakit I needed to tell him the truth. I was looking at his direction and he was eager to listen to every single detail that I'm telling him.

"I don't have any relationship with any other guys even before you. Because I thought I have a mutual understanding with her son named Charles. I don't want to have any relationships yet while I am studying. Tho, we're acting like a couple because we're in the same School and same course, everyone knows that we have that thing. I was faithful and held on to his promise. We promised each other kasi na kami na talaga hanggang dulo that he'll wait for me no matter what. That is why I didn't commit to any other relationships and that's made you my first boyfriend. The reason why we didn't end up together was because I saw him and made out with his girl best friend. I don't know if I felt betrayed even if we're not in a relationship or a couple. But because we made a promise to each other. That I didn't even know that it results in breaking my heart. Good thing that malapit na akong grumaduate ng College and I stayed to Rachel's for awhile. They begged for me to come back. Mahal naman daw ako ni Charles. I know he loved me. But I was scared to give him a second or even a chance because of what happened to my mother. What if I settled with that man and that may result in a failed marriage? That is why I don't want any communication with them, with their family, basta may apilyedong Chien, iniiwasan ko." Suddenly, I felt na nawala 'yung mabigat sa puso ko. Probably because I finally told the truth about my past at wala na akong tinatago pa.

"The main reason why I didn't disclose any of my past, because I don't think that it's necessary. I mean, para saan pa ang pagk-kuwento mo ng past if masaya ka naman na present mo? Until I realized na I have so many what if's para akong nag-cheat sa'yo kasi hindi siya maalis sa utak ko. And remember the time that I had a call from an unknown number?"

He nodded as a response. "It was Auntie or Tita Myrna. She wanted me to meet me up tomorrow at my lunch time. Honestly, I don't want to go kasi. We didn't end up okay. I somehow disrespected her because of the pain. I just walked away and I thought it was understandable because I was in pain." And now I burst out into tears and Ariel hugged me as a sign of comfort. Ghad. That is what I needed right now. I just can't explain what I really feel today.

"Tahan na, Babes. You're right, it doesn't matter what happened in the past. You know what? I'm thankful na kahit hindi mo sinabe sa akin 'to for the past years of our relationship, you still have the guts to tell me everything. And I'm very thankful for that. Now, I know that you trust me enough with your whole life. Thank you so much babes, thank you." He kissed me passionately and I responded like I was craving for his kisses.

Dinala niya ako sa kuwarto without breaking the kiss and he undress me and I let him, ginagawa naman na din namin 'to. He explored my body and while kissing my neck. "Aaaah b-babes." I lip bite and I just keep moaning and moaning to everything that he's doing to my body.

"B-babes aaaaah I-I'm cumming." And nag-dahan dahan naman siya which is kinagalit ko. "What the hell, Ariel?!" He smiled and said "W--will you marry me? Answer me fast, babes. Malapit na din ako." I was shocked and I just nodded and said yes and he kissed me on my forehead because malapit na naman akong umiyak and we both reached our climax. We didn't have protection, he didn't withdraw his sperm. He put that one on mine.

END.