The Suburbs

Chapter eighteen

"I don't know..." I finally respond, sadly.

The words coming out of Jacob's mouth are exciting, they make me feel like I should be on cloud nine but I'm not. All I can think about is what my Mum did to my Dad and how I do not want to be that person. I can't.

"What do you mean you don't know?" Jacob demands, angrily.

"Why are you angry?"

"Because I'm okay to throw you up against a wall and make you moan my name but I can't leave my wife and be with you? What the fuck?"

He's right. I have let so much happen, how can I try and take the moral high ground now.

"It's my fault, I know that. I can't lie to you, I want you too. But I'm not sure I can be with you this way." I say irritably before walking to the patio door for some air. I hate arguing with Jacob. The tension makes me feel as though the air is being sucked out of the room.

"Well I'm sorry Mia that I wasn't single when you met me. I'm sorry I have spent my life trying to do the right thing and keep my family happy. I'm sorry I wasn't as brave as you and didn't start the divorce a long time ago like I should have, or better yet, I wish I stuck with my instincts and didn't marry her. But I did!" He yells as he stands up and follows me frustrated.

"I did marry her, I did choose the life I thought I should have. And I'm so fucking done, Mia. I'm fucking done.
So no, this won't be easy. It will be messy, it will be hard, but if it means that I get to be with you then it's worth it, right?"

"But, my Mum..."

"You're not your Mum, Mia! I don't even know what she did or who she fell for but I know for a fact that this is different."

"Maybe! But she still hurt people." I snap back and I'm ready to list all the reasons why this is getting out of hand and how the idea that we can run off into the sunset is about as realistic as a Disney movie, but the knock on the door stuns me.

I quickly tip toe to the window and peer around the drapes.

"Elle?" I whisper to myself.

Shit. I totally forgot I invited her round.

"Does Elle know you're here?" I whisper panicked to Jacob, who looks just as surprised.

"No. I told her I wanted to for a walk on my own."

"Did she see you come to my house?"

"I don't think so." He answers calmly.

"Fuck. Okay. Hopefully it's fine." I mumble, flustered.
"There's a gate around the side of the house, through the garden, you can get out that way."

"Mia?" Elle calls through the letterbox.

"Coming!" I yell nervously.

"Go...go!" I say, as I gently push Jacob out of my patio doors.

"No. Maybe I'll tell Elle now. Maybe I'll tell her how I can't stop thinking about you and how I just want to be with you. Every day."

"Jacob! Now isn't the time to give me a fucking heart attack!" I hiss.
"Leave!"

"Maybe I'll tell her you keep seducing me." He smirks as he flirtatiously towers over me. God, his arrogance drives me crazy and wild all at the same time.