The Suburbs

Chapter thirty-nine

I haven't seen Puss since the first night Alex was here and to be honest, I really miss her. I could have really done with her company this past week. It's been three days since Alex attacked me and my swelling has reduced somewhat but it's still very noticeable and my body still aches.

Elle arrived back yesterday, and I asked Jacob to wait just a day or two more to tell her, just because I really need the extra time to get my head straight before the storm arrives.

Although it will take a little time, I am so ready to lead a quieter life now with Jacob. No more drama, no more of us getting our wires crossed, no upset, no ex-husbands and definitely no Elle. Just a new beginning and a new relationship and a real chance to be happy.

This is probably the most selfish thing I have ever thought to myself, well, in respect to Elle anyway. But I know in my heart that Elle doesn't love Jacob either. I know I'm not stealing the love of her life, her unlimited credit card maybe, but not her true love. I'm sure there are plenty of other wealthy men she can leech on to.

I have been for a stroll around the country fields for the past hour, as much as my ribs and hip still aches, its important I keep moving. I think it helped. When I approach back to my front door, I'm saddened by what I see. The bowl of food and cat biscuits I left out for Puss is still untouched. This is so unlike her; I hope she's safe and hasn't been injured or anything. She's not even officially my cat but I'm starting to really worry for her. She's been my only friend since I moved here, and I feel like I'm missing a piece of me without her around.

"Mia..." Jacob startles me as he appears from the corner.

"Jacob?! We shouldn't be seen..."

"Elle sent me." He quickly interrupts.

"She wants me to invite you over for dinner tonight. It'll be awkward as hell, not to mention quite cruel considering, are you sure you don't want me to tell her now?"

"I...I don't know. I'm just not ready. I still feel weak and just not myself. I'm not sure I can go through it just yet." I stutter.

"Fuck. Ok, then, we'll have to put ourselves through a dinner..."

"Sorry..." I mumble.

"I understand that you need a few more days but then I really have to tell her, okay?"

I nod in agreement as Jacob begins walking away already and back to his house.

"Oh, come over for seven!" He calls back, before disappearing through his front door.

Fuck. Dinner with Elle. I guess this is my new normal now. Dinner with my boyfriend's wife...Wow. Someone sign me up for therapy now. It would be comical what I have gotten myself into, well, if it wasn't happening in real life anyway.

My afternoon is now spent clock watching, counting the minutes until I have to head over for dinner. The time is going painfully slow, I just want to get it over and done with, but it seems to be taking forever.

I head upstairs and browse through my wardrobe, desperately looking for something that doesn't scream 'I'm guilty' or 'hope Cape Verde was nice, apologies for shagging your husband.'

My eyes roll at the sarcastic thoughts that are jumping through my mind, to be fair, it's always been a coping mechanism, I did the same at my dad's funeral. It was easier to joke than to fall apart.

As I jump in the shower and get myself ready, I desperately keep trying to remind myself that I'm a good person although it isn't easy.

Sometimes good people do bad things, but it doesn't make them the same as bad people who do bad things; my dad used to say.