The Suburbs

Chapter sixteen

"Muuum!" I shout a bit too abruptly into my phone.

"What?! Mia? Is that you?"

"'Mum, thank god you answered. I really need to..."

"God, Mia has someone died?"

"No, nothing like that, but..."

"Mia! It's four o'clock in the morning here..." she groans restlessly.

"Oh. Sorry it's nine a.m here, where are you?"

"Fort Lauderdale. Is this important? I'm ever so tired..."

"Mum. I really need to talk to you. Something has been weighing so heavily on my mind and I realm don't know who else I can talk too. I barely slept last night. Can you please talk, just for five minutes?"

"Ohhh." She yawns.
"Okay, what's up?"

"Mum...what do you think about affairs? Like infidelity? Is there ever an exception where it's okay?"

"What are you talking about, Mia?"

"I just mean, I don't know really..." I stutter, trying to find the right words to explain myself.
"Can an affair ever be forgiven? How do you know if it could be love? Real true love? In which case it would be worth it? Wouldn't it?"

My words are so jumbled, even I'm not making any sense but how on earth do I ask the questions I need the advice on without telling my Mum that I've gotten caught up with a married man.

"Oh god..." Mum mumbles and somehow I know she's now sitting up in bed.
"Is this about me and your Dad?"

"Huh? What? Why would it be about my Dad?"

"You mentioned the affair..." Mum whispers nervously.

"I was talking about...wait, what are YOU talking about, Mum?" I ask alarmed, as realisation sets in.

Surely not.

Mum is quiet, I know she's gathering her thoughts, careful of what to say next. I know this only too well because I do it too, I get that from her.

"Mum!?" I snap impatiently.
"What affair were you talking about?"

"I had an affair once." Mum mumbles so timidly I barely hear it.

"You cheated on Dad?" I croak, as guilty tears instantly sting my eyes. I don't even know what I'm guilty of, I didn't do it to him, but I hate that she did. My Dad was such a loving man, who would have done anything for her and she clearly walked all over him. I always knew she did anyway, she always got her own way, she came in and out of our lives as she pleased and my Dad let her.

"Yes. I had an affair with a man many years ago. But your Dad and I, we worked through it. He forgave me."

"How could you of done that to him? He loved you! He fucking loved you, Mum!" I snap so appalled that I'm physically trying to hold myself back from hurdling a bunch of insults at her. My heart is racing, my adrenaline has my body trembling. I'm so mad. I don't think I have ever been this mad at her in my life.
"WHEN?"

"When, what?"

"WHEN did this happen?"

"How does that make any difference?" Mum asks hesitantly.

"It just does. To me, if does. When?"

"Mia..."