I'm Not Okay But it's Alright - Fransykes

7. The Mountain

tRiGgER wArNiNg I guess because I think I still havent put one in the desc I y'know I think this gets just a bit descriptive (or maybe it doesnt you decide I'm stupid oh well~ either way take care of yourself <3)

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'Hello?'

My phone buzzed for the third time that night. I'd been trying to do my homework, as far as trying gets- My mind just created a million reasons not to, and so I only got two or three problems done.

Looking for an excuse to take a break, I picked up my phone to see an anonymous number texting me.

'Who are you and what the fuck do you want?' I asked.

'It's Josh' the number replied within seconds.

'Why and how did you get my number?'

'I wanted to talk.. Oh, and I asked your brother'

'Of course you did'
'Just leave me alone'

'Nope'
'It's Friday. I'm coming over and taking you somewhere'

'Eugh, no'

'Eugh, yes'

'Can't make me'

'I could tell your mom about what happened..'

'That's the shittiest move in the world'
'But speaking of my mom, she grounded me. Good luck getting me out'

'Oh, trust me, I can get you out'

I scoffed and put my phone away, staring back down at the problem.

10% sales tax..

Nope. I threw the notebook across my room with a groan. I never focused in school and I only tried to get things done when my parents got emails, which they rarely did as I was nearly invisible and only one teacher really remembered my existence. As you can see, I'm not very popular.

Friends aren't my thing. After a breakup I had years ago, everyone I was once friends with took the others side. With that and the nihilistic mindset I gained, friends weren't needed. I barely thought twice before pushing everyone away. I had nothing to hold on for, I had no reason to hold on when it didn't matter.

So I don't really know why I'm still here.

Josh stopped me, the night I'd gotten so close to finally saying 'buh bye'. But the gifts were still there, hidden in my closet. What was I holding on for? It had been five days since then and I could quite easily try again, more secluded, able to do it without the intervention of anyone.

But I hadn't.

There wasn't a reason, I don't think.

But I was alive, and part of me didn't plan on kicking the bucket anytime soon, which irked me. I was supposed to die. I was born to die, as was everyone.

Josh, the little bitch. He wouldn't stop me or put some fucking words in my head that would get through. They were like everyone else's - empty and meaningless. Besides, he didn't care. No one did. No one ever did.

I stood quickly and knocked over my chair, but I kicked it aside and locked the door. I began scrambling around for that hidden box with my little friends. What a way to call them - I'd heard others call them the same, but I never liked that much. But nor did I like 'razors' or 'blades.' So little friends it was. Besides, it did suit in a way. If I had to name one friend I had current time, I'd name one of them.