Fearless

24

Today was the day of our baby shower, we were waiting to have it until I was fully recovered from the accident.

I put on a pale pink dress and looked at myself in the mirror as Kat walked in, "you look so pretty!" She cooed and brought over the flower headpiece that Devyn made me. "Thank you." I said quietly and took a deep breath. "How are feeling? You haven't really said much since the night of the party." She said and I nodded my head, "yeah I'm okay, I just don't even want to think about it, I just want to have this baby shower with my closest friends and Colby. I want to celebrate the little girl that's coming so soon. I don't want to think about that toxic human being. It's over now." I said and sighed.

Kat frowned but nodded, "and we want to celebrate her too, we just..we are worried about you Cor..I know how you bottle stuff up like this. It's okay to want to talk about it." She said as I rubbed my belly, "I don't want to. Not today." I said with a small smile, "okay, whatever you need, you know we are all here." She said and pulled me in for a hug, "I know, I'm grateful for you guys. More than you know, I'll talk about it if I need to but for right now I'm okay, will you help me with my shoes?" I asked and looked down, "of course." She said with a smiled and bent down to help me.

We walked down the stairs to see Devyn in the kitchen, "aww you look so good!" She said and ran up to hug me, "thanks, what are you making? It smells delicious!" I asked and looked around, "brownies, Colby told me you were craving them so I made some for the shower." She said and I pouted, "you're too sweet.." I whined and hugged her again. "I just want you to be happy." She said and smiled then looked over at Kat, "everyone is outside if you want to go out there, I have to ask Kat something real quick." She said I nodded, getting the hint.

When I walked outside I could see Jake putting Sam in a headlock as Kevin and Corey were dying of laughter, Tara, Reggie, Cassie, and Aryia were talking over by the fire pit. I frowned when I couldn't see Colby anywhere.

I made my way over to the basketball court where Sam, Corey, Kevin, and Jake were. "There's the girl of the hour! How are you feeling?" Kevin said and gave me a hug, "I'm feeling fine, have you seen Colby?" I asked all of them. I noticed how Sam turned away from me meaning that whatever they were going to say was going to be a lie. "Nope, haven't seen him." Jake said and Corey laughed, "I thought he was with you. He's always with you!" I rolled my eyes, "well if you see him I'm gonna be over there." I said blandly and turned on my heal to walk towards the fire pit where everyone else was. "Hey Cora! Where's Colby?" Tara asked as I sat next to her, "no idea." I sighed and looked around, hoping he would come into view soon.

"We have food!!" Devyn yelled as she and Kat came out each holding platters of food. I bit my lip as everyone got up, I wasn't feeling good at all.  "You coming?" Cassie asked and put her hand on my shoulder. "Y-yeah. I'm okay." I sighed and stood up, I felt clingy for being upset that Colby wasn't here but it was our baby shower.. I know it wasn't very formal at all but still. He should be here. "Don't worry about it, Cora." Sam whispered and put his arm around my shoulder, "where is he?" I asked and he shook his head, "I'm not sure, he told us he was running an errand. He should be back any minute." He said and handed me a plate so I could grab some food. The truth was I wasn't hungry, in fact even the smell of food was making me feel sick. I just walked away from everyone and sat over by the fire pit, setting the empty plate in front of me. "You not gonna eat?" Corey said and sat next to me, "nah, not right now. I'm not feeling good." I said and smiled weakly as I rubbed my belly. She was really kicking and dancing in there today which was leaving me nauseous.

"I'm so excited to give you your present!" Kat said and sat next to me. "You're not eating?" She ask and I just shook my head, "I can't wait to open your gift." I said and smiled softly. She opened her mouth to say something but closed it. I could tell they were all concerned for me but I was fine. I had been quiet since the party because I was still trying to process what happened. The image of Jason lunging for me constantly playing in my mind. The anger in Colby's eyes as he looked at me while he beat Jason to a pulp. It was a lot of emotions to sort through but I was fine. I wasn't going to let myself unwravel over it but I also felt like I couldn't talk about it yet.

"Cora.." Kat said quietly and shook my shoulder. "What?" I asked shaking my head, trying to clear my mind. "You're crying.." she said quietly as my hand shot to my cheek, sure enough it was wet.

"Um..I just..I need a minute." I said got up scurrying into the house. I ran to the bathroom and threw up into the toilet as I held my hair back. I leaned against the wall breathing heavily. My stomach flipped again causing me to throw up in the toilet again as I struggled to breathe.

I flinched when I felt fingers graze the back of my neck, then my hair being pulled back fully. "Shh you're okay." Colby's voice cooed from behind me as I wiped my mouth with the back of my hand, "Colby." I whispered and turned around so I could wrap my arms around his neck. "Hey, I'm here." He said and rubbed my back. "Where were you?" I asked and pulled away to look at him, "I wanted to surprise you. It just took a little longer than anticipated." He said and smirked, tucking my hair behind my ear, "oooo what kind of surprise?" I asked as Colby helped me up off the floor, "you'll see! You feeling better?" He asked and I nodded, "yeah, she's just been really mobile today, it makes me nauseous." I said and sighed, "no, that's not what I mean." He said as I bit my lip, "I just want you to be able to enjoy today, and I know there's a lot on your mind,  please talk to me." He said and held my upper arms, looking into my eyes.

"I don't know what to say, Colby...I'm trying to just live happily, I'm trying to take the positive road, I'm trying to be excited about all of this and not let anything get to me but god why can't anything be easy?!" I groaned and grabbed my head in my hands, feeling it pounding now. "I don't know sweetheart, I don't know why things have to happen like that but you're stronger than all of it. It's all over, all of the bad stuff has happened, and we have made it through all of it. Right now in this moment we are here together, with all of our friends, and a beautiful baby girl on the way. Right now it's just us and the good stuff." He said and kissed my forehead.

I nodded and leaned in to kiss him, "how do you always know the right things to say?" I said as he caressed my cheek, "I'm speaking from the heart, that's why." He said and got up, helping me up with him. "Come on let me show you the surprise, I think it will cheer you up." He said and grabbed my hand leading me out to the backyard. He opened the door slightly and I caught a glimpse of the surprise,

"Oh my god!" I yelled happily as he opened the door fully.