Fearless

35

"We found a hemorrhage..it's what's causing your seizures. We will have to operate as soon as possible..." the doctor said but looked around like she was hiding something. "What are you hiding...just tell me." I said quietly and looked at her intensely, "you shouldn't have been able to survive child birth..the pushing should have put too much pressure on your brain. It should have killed you." She said causing me to gasp.

Colby tightened his hand around mine, "I...what? How is this not bad news?" I gasped as hysterics were building in my chest. "It's not the best news..but there's good news in it, fixing it will get rid of your seizures and it's easily fixable we just have to do it as soon as possible.." she trailed off. "You're making it sound like if I cough too hard I'm gonna die." I said and she shook her head, "I'm sorry if I'm making it seem that way...it's not that fragile but if you so much as hit your head too hard we don't know what could happen." She spoke quietly as everyone in the room stared at me.

Colby laid Mia down on her bed and wrapped his arms around me. "I don't want to die." I whispered and he shook his head, "you won't. You're strong." He said and looked at me. Everyone was silent, not really knowing what to say. I cleared my throat and looked at the doctor, "when's the surgery." I asked quietly, playing with my ring. "The OR is scheduled to be open in an hour. I'll come get you for pre-op in about 45 minutes, the surgery should last about 4 hours." She said causing my heart to clench. I only had 45 minutes.

"How risky is this surgery?" Dad asked and held one of my hands. "Anything involving the brain can be risky, but this is an easy fix, I have done it hundreds of times. She'll be in good hands." She said and smiled softly at us. "How is this good news?" I asked again not being able to believe it. "It's good news because it's fixable, and we didn't lose you when we should have. Also you'll never have a seizure again." She said and smiled, "it's going to be okay." She said and I nodded, "okay. What about feeding Mia? Will I even be able alert enough to feed her during recovery?" I asked and she nodded, "you'll be able to feed her, but probably not until at least tomorrow. I'm going to send your nurse in and you'll pump as much as you can before the surgery. Do you have any other questions?" I shook my head and looked over at the boys as she left the room.

They all looked at me with the same expression. They looked like I was going to blow away in thin air. "Hey. No. You guys don't get to do that." I said with a slight anger in my tone. "What do you mean?" Sam asked I shook my head, "you don't get to look at me like I'm dying. I'm fucking fine." I said and dad put his hand on my arm, I snatched it back, "I said I'm FUCKING FINE." Colby breathed out and looked at me. I knew he could tell I was absolutely terrified, "you're right. You're fine. You're no different right now than you were ten minutes ago. And you're going to keep being fine until we are old as dirt sitting on our rocking chairs in Hawaii. You're fine." He said bringing instant comfort to me.

"Hey girlie." Meghan said and came in, setting me up with a pump, "how are you feeling?" She asked and I shook my head, "terrified. I just got my perfect family, I can't lose them." I said quietly and looked over at Mia. The boys were each making phone calls updating everyone on the situation here. "You're gonna be fine. You're the biggest badass I know. This will be a walk in the park, especially after child birth, Jesus that sounds like it sucks." She said and held her fist out for me to fist bump. I laughed, "yeah it was probably the most painful thing I have been through." I said and she nodded, "I believe that."

We spent the next 30 minutes with Mia on my chest and my dad, Sam, and Colby, all right beside me. I felt good. I felt the positive side of this creeping up. I had one more hurdle and then the car accident would be behind me. I had one more hoop to jump through and then I was good to go, I would be able to get married and watch Mia grow up with everyone I love close to me. I just had one more thing to get through.

"I think we should give you three a minute." Dad said and stood up, patting Sam's back. Sam nodded and got up. We only had a couple minutes left before I went to pre-op. "I love you." I said to Colby as the door closed, "I love you too." He said and kissed me, this kiss was simple but showed so much love as our baby was sandwiched between us. "Thanks for being with me through all of this. I'm sure this all has been just as stressful for you as it has for me."

He nodded, "I wish things could be easier..it feels like the universe is against us sometimes." He said quietly and I nodded, kissing the top of Mia's head. "Yeah, it does. But this is the last thing we have to get through, then we are golden. The accident will officially be behind us. I feel good about it Colby." I said with a small smile, "I do too. You're one tough cookie who loves looking death in the face." He said and I giggled, "I wouldn't say I love it but I happen to do it often these days." He chuckled and kissed my head. "Take care of Mia while I'm gone." I said and he smiled, "I will. She's gonna miss you though." He said and gestured to the sleeping baby on my chest. She didn't cry much and she always seemed to be smiling or sleeping.

God, I was in love with her.

"You ready to go down?" Meghan asked and peaked her head in, "can you send Dad and Sam in here real quick?" I asked and she nodded. A few seconds later they came in. "Hey squirt." Dad said and came up to me. "Hey daddy, I'm gonna be okay." I said and reached up, rubbing at the concerned lines on his forehead. "I know you are. I just worry. It's what dad's do, right Colby?" dad asked bringing my attention to Colby who was looking at Mia with a concerned look on his face as she hiccuped. "You could say that." He said with a laugh.

"Sam, you have a very important job." I said and he smiled grabbing my hand. "You make sure that these two stay sane." I said and pointed to my dad and Colby, "you got it, but I don't know how well I'll do because I'm trying to keep Katrina sane over text." I laughed, "shit, I forgot about that. Change in plans. All three of you better stay sane. I'll kick your asses if I find out you weren't eating or something." I said and pointed to all of them. They smiled at me, before all three of them kissed my head. "I love you sweet girl, I'll be back very soon." I cooed at Mia as I let Colby lift her up off of me.

"I love you." Colby said and kissed me. "I love you too."

Then that was it. I was being wheeled down to pre-0p.

A/N: I hope you guys are enjoying the book even though it's really twisty turny and also sad haha love you guys ❤️