Still In

XXXIII

Cara

I sat on the ground, rubbing my thumb across the tombstone.

Christopher J. Torres
Jan. 16, 2001- May 20, 2019

I remember the day my mother called me with the news that my little brother was murdered. The police claimed it was 'gang-affiliated' and just never looked into it. I did my own investigation.

Mama told me that he was steady hanging around that nigga Smoke. At the time, I had no idea who he was because I had moved out of Sacramento. I made sure to find out though. I spent months making sure that I was going after the right guy and Dawn pointed me right to him.

She really thought I was doing all this over her little ass heartbreak. Please! They probably weren't even in an official relationship to begin with. She has attachment issues and it's honestly embarrassing. But, as her best friend, I put up with it. Always have, probably always will.

"I can tell Mama never comes to see you. Look how dirty your tombstone is. Just disgusting."

Dawn didn't know anybody in my family especially Chris. I was always a private person and my home life at that time wasn't something anybody needed to see. Best friend or not, I kept my shit hidden. Hell, I even changed my last name once I was able to.

"I don't know what you did to end up in here, but you'll have company soon. I'm not leaving Sacramento until Smoke's head is on a mantle."

My phone rang and I silenced it without even seeing who was calling me. I was spending time with my brother and nothing else was important at this time.

"I know, you're wondering why I took his kids. Well, you need bait to catch a fish and why take one when I had access to both. You're probably rolling over in your grave seeing that I'm fucking with your little girlfriend. Too damn bad!"

Whenever Chris called me, it was never about anything important. Unless you count Tanya as important which he did. 'I want her but she got a man' , 'I want her but she playing hard to get'. Deep down, I wanted to tell him to just get over her and look for somebody else but I'm kind of glad I let him talk. I remember he called me and was pissed cause she had spit in his face. He was more so pissed at himself for punching her in retaliation. That was the last time I spoke to him.

"I'm not gonna hurt the kids, I promise. My issue is with Smoke."

I ran my thumb over his stone again and quickly wiped the tear that fell down. I didn't come here to cry. Just to speak to him. Hopefully, not for the last time.

"I love you, Chris." I mumbled. "Watch over Mama."

Pressing my forehead against the stone, I took a deep breath and stood up. I walked back to my car and pulled my phone out, calling back whoever called me.

"Hello?"

"What do you want?"

"Just letting you know that the kids are asleep."

"You called me to tell me that the kids are asleep? Why in the fuck would I care about that?"

"I just thought-"

"Don't think and don't call me again unless there's a life threatening situation. You hear me?"

"Yes, boss."

I hung up the phone and tossed it in the passenger seat. Starting up the car, I pulled off. I had one last stop to make before I went back to business.

Smoke

"Who the hell is Cara?" Sean asked.

"She's my best friend. I called her after you broke up with me."