Pinky Swear, Allyship (Completed)

CHAPTER 26

“Dahil natalo ka sarili mong laro. You lost a game, the bet is me. Wow, Gael. Ang galing mong manloko,” I cried to him as I saw his eyes turning red. He’s looking straight into my eyes and so am I. But I can’t stare so long that my madness is melting because of his gaze. 

“Bella,” his voice cracked. It pained me. Sobrang sakit na nagpatong patong lahat. “Babe let me explain please,” 

“Ako muna pakinggan mo, Gael.” I started. Debi is facing the floor but her shoulders are still moving enough for me to think that she’s affected and crying. “Correct me if I’m wrong. Kaya ba? Kaya ba sobrang bilis ng lahat ng ‘to dahil sa bet na yon? Na ah kaya pala bigla ka na lang dumating sa buhay ko at nagustuhan mo ako ng sobrang bilis ay dahil sa larong yan? Na kaya ba nagso’sorry ka sa akin nung monthsary natin and you’re afraid that I will hate you because of this? Kaya ba ganun yung pinky swear, Gael?” my voice cracked when I utter the last sentence. 

“Yes.” Okay, I’m done. “So please listen to me. Babe we pinky swear that we~” 

“Fuck that pinky swear Gael. Kahit ilang daliri mo pa ang ipakita mo sa akin walang makakabago ng katotohanang lahat ng to ay kasinungalingan.” I shouted at him. He’s crying. He’s pained with my words. Pero hindi ko na makita yung nararamdaman ko. 

“I’m done with this.” I turned back to them and go to my room to fix my things. I am so tired na gusto ko munang matulog but staying here brings shiver to me. Feeling ko sa susunod na minuto ay puro sakit na lang ang ibibigay sa akin. I fixed my things. Hindi ko na kinuha lahat dahil gusto ko na kaagad umalis dito. When I leave my room, nakita kong nadoon pa din si Gael and Debi. Naglakad na lang ako ng tuloy tuloy when Gael speak. 

“Hindi mo naman ako iiwan diba? Maaayos naman natin ‘to diba?” he asked me like he is trying to hide that he is begging for me to stay. 

“You answer your question, Gael. Dapat pa ba akong manatili sa relasyong hindi naman totoo simula una? O mananatili ako sa’yo kahit na alam kong sa susunod na araw ay minahal mo lang ako dahil sa bet na yun?” he looked down. 

“Look at me, Gael.” I commanded him and he did. My eyes are staring to cry again as I saw his tired eyes like he wants to hug but he just couldn’t. “Sobrang sakit na. Nagpatong patong lahat ng sakit. Akala ko ikaw yung ikaw makakasama ko sa laban na ‘to eh. Pero ikaw rin pala yung mismong kalaban ko. Gael, sobrang sakit dito.” I pointed my heart. My knees are starting to tremble as I see his hazelnut eyes. “Sobrang sakit na Gael. Kasi akala ko totoo, akala ko ikaw na. Pero lahat akala lang. Niloko mo rin ako Gael, wala ka rin pinagkaiba sa ex ko.”

“Babe, please. Let’s fix this.” he hold my hand and caressed it with his thumb. 

“For what? Para sa panibagong kasinungalingan? Baka nga tama si Liliane. Hindi naman mahirap kalimutan ang isang buwang relasyon. Wala ‘tong binatbat sa mga taong matagal ng magkarelasyon. Madali tong makalimutan. Sana.” I cried even more when I say it. I turned my back to them and immediately left the building with my tears. Yung sakit yung binaon ko. Yung sakit na naranasan ko nanaman ulit sa pangalawang pagkakataon. 

I called a taxi and stepped inside so tired. I look outside the window and start calming myself but the taxi wasn’t helpful dahil masyadong masakit yung pinapatugtog. 

“Manong, pwede pong papatay nung tugtog?” I said. The driver just nodded and gave me a sweet smile. 

“Tissue po ma’am?” he offered. Kinuha ko na lang tsaka ginamit na pampunas ng luha kong hindi na nauubos. Dehydrated na siguro ako dahil sa dami ng naubos kong tubig simula kahapon.