insecure || Changlix

one

Felix could slowly feel his palms getting sweaty, his adrenaline rising and his small body slightly beginning to shake. The closer their car headed towards its destination, the worse got the symptoms of the now shaky boy.

He tried to fix his eyes on the road, on the busy cars in this rush hour and tried to wonder how the cars inhabitants must feel at this very moment.

But it didn't really help the boy very much. It was rather the other way around. Everything here in Seoul was so busy and hectic and loud and almost a kind of culture flash for the Australian.

The boy shifted his gaze on the bottom and on his shoes. Old, white , dirty sneakers. Of course. His only pair shoes he owned to be honest.
With the time they were becoming outworn
and almost to this extend that parts of the fabric began to rip and hang freely around the shoes.

Simple black pants, a dark blue t-shirt and a dusty black jacket added to the damaged shoes of the student. It's not really necessary to explain such a simple look, because it may seem totally normal and not spectacular. But since Felix our much thought in it, it's just right to fully explain it.

The black pants with the jacket were chosen because they wouldn't catch any attention. The dark blue top, because he didn't want to fully look like an emo or completely boring, which he definitely would if he had put on a black shirt.

And well the damaged shoes...

It's not that his family is poor or anything , they're rather midrage. Both his parents do have a well paid job and he and his siblings don't need to starve.

It's just that Felix mom stopped buying his son clothes since he came to middle school.
Well, in most cases all children would be thankful to their mothers for once stop being overprotective and everything but for Felix that caused a slight problem.

The problem which is also the reason for a shivering boy in the passenger seat of the car in the front , which was just like 7 minutes distant from its destination.

Lee Felix poorly had a way too high level of anxiety. Especially social anxiety.

He just couldn't get himself to go to one damn shop to get another pairs of shoes. He didn't really knew what he should say, once he got there. He didn't know how he would handle, people staring at him at his way to the shop and he was afraid of choosing something that would turn out as another good reason for making fun of him.

And added to this he was overly insecure and sensitive and kept himself last night way too long awake because he just couldn't find any sleep.

His thoughts were running wild, his heart beating to his throat, while he was grabbing on his plushie and shut his eyes the hardest he could. Hoping that the pressure he gave to his eyelids would also destroy the thoughts inside his head and the stone that formed inside his chest.

He came back to this point and shut his eyes close. Tried to think of nothing or better of anything that would distract him.

But that was only till he felt the car stop and the engine being turned off.

He slowly adverted his eyes to his left, where his mother was giving him a warm smile, making him relax for some seconds before he was confronted with the reality. His mother grabbed the black backpack with beaming eyes and handed it to her son.

The latter slung it slowly over his shoulder, looking expectantly into his mother's eyes, like waiting for her to say something.

The woman just removed some bangs, falling into her sons eyes lovingly out of his sight and smiled once again.