insecure || Changlix

sixteen

The next day when Felix went to school he was just too tired to even keep his eyes open for more than 2 minutes in a row.

His head began aching and getting heavier and it fell harshly onto his table, but the loud impact made him snap up again and trying to pretend to focus on class.

This action continued for almost twenty minutes before Jisung got annoyed and was also a bit sorry for the others head.

"Lix!" he whisper-shouted while scooting closer to his friend and finger snapping against his forehead.

"YAH! What's that for?" the other shouted a little too loud and looked at the other a bit furious for waking him up from his 7-second-sleep.

"Shut up you idiots, we're in class." Seungmin snapped from the other side of Felix, but didn't bother to look up from his notebook.

"How are you so tired? What's wrong? Did you you overwork yourself?", Jisung asked, ignoring Seungmin. He wasn't getting less worried when he noticed Felix flinching again and accidentally ramming his pencil with full force into his palm.

The other let go of the pencil at the sharp pain and let out a high pitched scream.

"Lee Felix! Could you possible leave my lesson when you're not paying attention anyways and simply distracting the other students?"  his history teacher asked annoyed and corrected her horrible glasses that sat on her nose.

Felix just silently grabbed his things and stood up, without complaining or paying any attention to his two friends or feeling insecure when he made his way from the last row towards the door while passing many students.

Outside, he directly went into the bathroom and splashed some cold water into his face and blinked a few times. His hands resting on the sink, leaning slightly forward and starting into the big mirror.

He looked really horrible today. He had gigantic dark circles under his eyes and his body seemed to hang loosely on his skeleton.

But the cold water was  stimulating his circulation and the fresh air that blew against his face when he walked around on the schoolyard some minutes later, made him feel a bit more awaken.

The boy didn't really sleep much last night or he rather didn't sleep at all.

After what happened on that day his thoughts there running crazy, making him going insane. He questioned his whole life decisions and wanted to drown. But he wasn't depressed this time, just simply frustrated at this own dumbness.

For some people a making out scene with someone didn't mean much to them, but for Felix it of course did. He still couldn't really catch on the fact that he was kissing Seo Changbin. With his free will. No one forcing him to. He could just pull away. But he didn't.

He thought the whole scenario back and furth while lying in bed. He remembered feeling completely secure and safe during the kiss and it made him feel good, desperate for more. Felix had never really 'liked' someone, in the way of liking liking. But if it hasn't been this specific male he would've sworn that he really liked the person, just because of the fact how he had felt. How his body felt like he was sat under constant electric shock. How he didn't even mind anything else and it just felt right at the moment. Like it was meant to be. How he didn't feel ashamed to touch the other or being touched.

But when he remembered with which person he connected these feelings, thoughts and actions with, his head was aching for like three hours. There isn't even a need to explain why he reacted like that. It's kind of obvious anyways.