Rockabye

Father to Son

Being sick had never been an issue for either Ben or Joe. They were adults. Adults got sick. People got the flu, even though who got the flu shot. It wasn't that big of a deal. What was a big deal was the consistency of it.

The endless stomach pain that seemed to come and go, and then come again, and then leave altogether. The lack of appetite that was like a blood rollercoaster and then the vomiting. Late into the night, Ben would find himself getting up out of bed, pacing the room as his stomach churned deep inside, resulting in him running off to the bathroom to puke his guts out.

He thought it was a stomach bug. He did his Googling, checked it all out. All the signs were there, so he decided to wait it out. Tums and Pepto had become his best friends, but nothing changed. Any time he thought he was fine and it finally cleared, he'd be slammed with another wave of nausea.

Eventually, it began affecting his daily living. He couldn't focus at the studio and he wasn't sleeping right. He thought he could put it off, but as a father of four, he had to keep focus and that just wasn't possible.

In the comfort of their room, he spoke to Joe about it, because if Ben could trust anyone, it was his husband of ten years.

Joe didn't think it was worrisome. Odd, but nothing to fuss over. Ben thought the worst because that was who Ben was. In the back of his mind, he recalled all the horrible things his kid sister had gone through when she fell ill and he feared that cancer had finally made its way to him.

Ben had gone to Gwilym about it, as they didn't have an actual primary doctor. Despite not specializing specific illnesses, the man ran the blood test, promising to inform Ben if he found anything abnormal in the next couple of days. The waiting was almost torturous for them both, but they played it cool, not wanting to worry their children of this mess.

When Gwilym called, Joe went with him for moral support and they sat in the all too familiar office waiting for Gwilym to arrive. When he did, he was as professional as possible, something that was rather off-putting as they had known the man for twelve years. Their children were friends and they saw one another often enough to have that tension between them cut out completely.

Inside he spoke carefully, explaining exactly what was going on.

"The blood test came back positive. You're with child, Ben." He told him somberly.

Neither Ben nor Joe understood why he spoke so gravely about something they normally celebrate. They had done this time and time again. A surprise child, one that was planned, and then two more surprises wrapped in one. This time was just another surprise and yet the good doctor was looking at them with such a heavy gaze.

"Male carriers of your age don't usually go to full term." He admitted carefully.

"I'm sorry?" Joe questioned, adjusting how he sat in the uncomfortable plastic chair.

"Geriatric pregnancy is hard enough on women. It's ten, if not twenty times harder on male carriers." Gwilym explained carefully. "Normally, the age of conception for male carriers is somewhere between seventeen to thirty-eight. Thirty-nine, if you are lucky. You're in your forties, Ben. You're beyond your limit."

"What are you saying, Gwilym?" Ben asked carefully.

"I'm saying you may want to look into this particular situation and think about your options."

"What options?"

"Abortion, Ben," Joe replied dryly. "What exactly are we dealing with here, Gwilym? What makes this so much worse for Ben?"