Quarantine [Tag Book]

Wow. 40.

    This is my 40th chapter. I honestly think this is now my longest book- this might be 39 or 38 for some of you because I haven't posted all the chapters but, oh well haha.

     I'm having a day of bravery.

     Also a day of a lot of tears and frustration- ha.

     But... I'm thinking I might take Jared's dad's advice and just make my move- even if it goes south, at least I'd have closure, ya know? I've never really actually told Jared exactly how I felt, it's always been my dad telling him... other than when I almost kissed Jared, I think he's oblivious.

    I feel like I should just say something along the lines of "I know you're determined to marry this girl, but I want you to know that I like you. I've liked you for a dang long time and it's frustrating me that I've never told you how I really felt. So... there's that."

     I don't know. I'm in this weird mode- like, today's a better day than I've had in a while, I'm in a good mood and then all of a sudden I just crash and I hit this low that I've been at for a while. I don't know what's going on with me, and I sure as heck don't wanna talk to anyone I know in real life about it.

     I really wish I'd told him a long time ago how I'd felt. I don't know. Maybe I should stay quiet until I graduate and move out of state with my cousin. I don't freaking know what to do, but he's older than me and a grade below me- and I know I need to tell him sometime.