kathleen

postpone

later that night
kathleen's pov:
just as i thought everything was working out, it comes crashing down again. i don't know how to feel about today, and whether i should just get over it and realise i'm overreacting, or whether van simply doesn't care enough about me to have remembered to pick me up. i try to take my mind off the whole thing by reading, but of course it doesn't really work.

as i'm halfway through a chapter, i suddenly hear my phone buzz. part of me hopes it's van, but another part of me hopes it's not van, but i don't quite know why. i pick up my phone.
'van: r u up? 01:29am'
'van: csn wr talk? 01:30am'
'sure. give me a ring.' i reply, without even thinking. he's either drunk or doesn't know how to type. God, i bet he thinks i'm so sad, having nothing better to do than reply to his message almost immediately at half one in the morning on saturday. my phone starts to vibrate. my heart rate starts to quicken as i pick up the phone.
"hey," i start, waiting for his reply.
"kath," he starts, letting out a sigh. "i've missed you love. i'm so sorry about thursday. i should've remembered. please don't let this affect our relationship. i still love you just as much, in fact even more." his words melted into each other, almost as if his speech was slurred from the alcohol, but not quite.
"van-" i sigh. we've hit another dead end. i don't know what to do. of course i still love him, but i don't know if i have it in me to keep wearing myself down like this for the sake of our relationship.
i hear footsteps on the other side of the phone. he must be walking somewhere.
"where are you walking to?" i ask hesitantly.
"oh- uh, nowhere."
"ok....van i'm gonna let you go.."
"ok love, i'll see you in a bit,"
the line cuts off
'see you in a bit?' what does that mean? is he coming over? was he just saying bye?
i notice a pack of his cigarettes laying on my coffee table. i pick up the box and it smells just like him. i decide to take one. i light it, and go out onto the balcony. i needed this. just to sit and watch the world go by.

van's pov:
i make my way over to kath's flat. i need her. i really do. maybe it's the intoxication talking, but something about her feels...different. almost like we were made for eachother. soulmates, if that's what you wanna call them. as i turn the corner and eventually find myself back again, outside the door.
i take a quick deep breath, and i press the buzzer.
"kathleen, love, it's me, buzz me in will ya?'
nothing.
i lean back against one of the walls in the porch area.
i hesitate, but eventually try again.
"kath, please let me in love. i wanna talk to ya. i miss ya face."
the buzzer sounds.
i climb up the stairs and let myself in to kath's flat.
she's sat out on her balcony, smoking one of my cigarettes. i must've left a pack here.
i slide the french doors open and sit next to her.
"thought you'd stopped smoking," i start.
"i don't care." she replies, while taking a drag of the half finished cig.
i pull one out from my pocket and i light it. it's nice just being in her company.
"you must be freezin' kath, you've not even got a jacket on."
she shrugs her shoulders in response.
i slide my jacket off, walk up behind her and wrap it around her tiny shoulders. she looks up at me and our eyes lock into place. she looks back to stub out her cigarette, and then her gaze returns. she reaches up to place a hand on the side of my neck and kisses me for a few seconds but pulls away with a smile.
"you know i can't stand it when you do that,"
"i know," she responds quietly, biting her lip to try and stop her smile widening.
she stands up and holds my collar, pulling me in again.