That Awkward Moment

The Ex Factor

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The silence in the room grew so loud as Ebony sat in front of her therapist, Dr Hazel. She exhales slowly, nervously patting her thighs and looked up at the clock above her her therapists' desk itching for time to move faster. It currently read 4:45pm and sessions were only an hour of Ebony's time but she was just nervous about opening up completely.

"You've been sitting in silence for almost an hour Ebony your session is almost up." Dr. Hazel sighed, placing her pen back down on her notepad.

"Good..." Ebony nervously smiles. "I only have four more of these to go."

"Why are you so afraid of opening up?"

"Oh, I'm not afraid." Ebony shook her head, and corrected her therapist in a snarky tone. "I just don't want my business given to some stranger and besides nothing's going to change anyway when I leave. My ex boyfriend still has full custody of our one year old son. The one thing that's good in my life and you think you can change that?"

"Why does he have full custody?" Her therapist asked.

"Because he's a lying manipulative pompous rich nigga who gets whatever he wants. His family is extremely powerful and wealthy they have their ways."

"Oops I didn't mean to curse but you are black...I can use that word around you right?"

"A black woman till the day I die." Dr. Hazel chuckled. "Do whatever makes you feel comfortable."

"Can I bring tequila next time?" Ebony joked. "Are you a brown or a white type of girl?" Ebony tried to avoid bringing up her ex.

"Ebony I know what you're doing it's okay to be nervous, this is your first time at therapy. It's okay to joke and raise humor to make yourself feel more comfortable." Dr Hazel says with a slight smile.

"When did you meet your ex?" She asked her client.

"I met him a few years ago...my friend and I were out celebrating the release of one of the projects that I worked on and plus she had been trying to get me to get out of the house for weeks...I had just broken up with my ex before I met Bakari." He shrugged. "We were at a hookah lounge in Atlanta...and it was there when he first saw me. I can remember his look so vividly. He had on this white wife beater underneath a red plaid shirt, black jeans...gold rimmed glasses on and a thick linked 24k gold chain around his neck and retro air Jordan ones. His hair was shortly cut back then and he flashed this beautiful infectious smile at me as he held a beer in one hand and hookah in the other. I don't know if he was nervous or just didn't know how to smoke but he took a hit and started coughing...it was funny and cute at the same time so I taught him how to hit it correctly." Ebony faintly smiled at her memory. "There was an instant connection, and we vibed like we were old friends and we instantly hit it off."

"Since that day...my whole life changed forever and he's had this incredible hold over me for four long years."

"I think we're off to a great start, you've taken the first step to healing and I am so proud of you. The more sessions that we will do the easier it will get. I can see that this man has hurt you so emotionally that you didn't even want to talk about him in the beginning. What you did today even if it was for a short time was courage. You need to take control over your life and stop letting him have any power over you. For your first assignment I want you to write down these 5 affirmations on a mirror or in your journal and say them everyday."

"I am in charge of my own life.
I love who I am and I love who I am becoming.
I am beautiful and I will not let anyone ruin my happiness."