That Awkward Moment

Unbreak My Heart

Swipe left to listen to the song that goes with this chapter.

"Ebony?" Sheila called out for her best friend but there was no answer. The friends were now at the Lourve taking a break because BJ got fussy during their tour. She looked at her friend weirdly, inching in closer to wave her hand in front of her face because she seemed to have zoned out.

"Ebony?" She calles out for her best friend once more who was to be zoned out of reality.

"Ebony you okay?" Sheila asked her friend as she sat down next to her on a bench at the Louvre as she fed Kari his bottle.

"Hmn?" Ebony finally responds.

"You okay? You zoned out there from me for the past five minutes, I was talking to you, I don't even think you heard a word that I said." Sheila says with a small empathetic smile, knowing a lot was on her best friend's mind.

"I honestly don't know...I mean outside I feel good like, I'm grateful that I'm here with you, celebrating you but deep down I know I've been suppressing how I really feel..." She sighs looking up at her best friend. "I'm sorry I shouldn't be talking about me, this is your day...your week and we're celebrating you, I shouldn't feel the way I feel." Ebony looked down at Kari who was looking back up at her.

"You have every right to feel the way you do...maybe it was a bad idea putting you and Bakari in the same room....I just figured since you two know each other then it wouldn't be that big of a deal."

"No no, I have no problem sharing a room with him...it's just that I just don't," Ebony stopped herself before saying how she truly felt.

"What's wrong? You can tell me anything."

"I just don't feel like I belong here...or anywhere for that matter...this past relationship I've had has really taken a toll on me and I just...want to feel something, anything that makes me feel like I'm still my old self again before this whole mess blew over." Ebony explained. "When I look at myself and my reflection is looking back at me, I don't even recognize myself anymore...I feel like I've been reduced to nothing. Stripped away of everything that was once me and if I could take back that moment that I slept with Erik I would because, I still feel every single thing that has happened since then... Like when we go back Bakari will still have full custody of our son...his family still hates my guts and I just can't shake any of what I feel away like it will always be there, from here on out." Ebony sniffled, wiping underneath her eyes.

"All this has been eating at me recently because Bakari said that he wanted to be with me again," Ebony chuckles darkly. "And for a moment I almost caved into him because then maybe I won't have to go weeks without seeing my child or maybe I won't feel this way again, so I slipped up and we fucked this morning in hopes that I would still feel the same way about him as I did when we first met. But what I felt was just pure lust...there was nothing left." Ebony confessed.

"There was nothing left." She repeated herself quietly.

"As much as I'd like to see you and Bakari back together I don't think that's going to happen...you two have both hurt each other in unimaginable ways out of spite, and BJ doesn't need to see both of his parents hating each other because you two can't or won't get along. I like the way things are now between the two of you and you've worked so hard to get there. I know Bakari has said that he wants to be in a relationship with you again but do you think you're ready for that again or can you put yourself through that again if shit goes left or if he gets mad again? I mean livid. You need to ask yourself those questions if you're ever going to think about being with him, which I don't advise." Sheila added. "I don't think all that shit talking or slut shaming was his family's doing as he 'claimed'. Bakari can be extremely manipulative too and he can use his wealth and the fact that he has full custody over you. I don't want you to fall into that trap...you deserve better than him. I'm not talking about wealth or expensive things...you already have that. I'm talking about happiness. You deserve every single bit of it, I hate that you feel the way you do but just know that I'll always have your back," Sheila smiles, pulling her friend in for a comforting hug.