That Awkward Moment

Mixed Feelings

It was nearing three am, Bakari rolls off of Ebony after the two met at Bakari's shared apartment with his friends.  The two panted, catching their breath, both looking up at the patterns of the textured ceiling after a twenty minute intense round of sex. This was the first time the two had spoken to each other since Bakari said that he needed space.  Ebony rolls over on her side, with her back facing him, and pulls the sheet over her to cover her nude body. 

Bakari looks over to where she was and climbs out of bed to use the restroom without saying anything.  As he was in the bathroom, Ebony could already feel herself regretting this and bent down on the floor to pick up her clothes.  She picks up the remainder of her shredded  panties.

She sighs and mumbles,  "Great."

By the time that Bakari made it out of the bathroom, now in a pair of boxers, he sees Ebony getting dressed and now fully clothed.

"Where are you going?" Bakari asks as he walks to the bed to sit down.

"Im going home," Ebony says as she looks at herself in the mirror and fixes her hair.

"I thought you were spending the night?" Bakari says and pulls the covers back over him.

"No, why would I do that? This was just a booty call." Ebony half smiles and grabs her car keys and purse off of the dresser. 

"You're shutting me out Ebony..."

"No," Ebony angrily laughs.  "...you know what Bakari fuck you and fuck You for thinking that we could ever be together because you fucking led me on."

"You knew what this relationship was from the beginning so I don't understand why the fuck you're upset. You agreed to come over here because you wanted the same thing, or am I wrong? You wanted to fuck so don't get upset at me for just fulfilling your needs."

"Oh grow the fuck up Bakari, grow the fuck up! Is that all you see me as? Just a quick fuck?"

"That's what you present yourself as..." He mumbles loud enough for her to hear.

Ebony hears his comment and picks up her purse to leave, and shakes her head.  She blinks away her saturated eyes and nods. 

"Okay, so don't call me don't text me, don't FaceTime me, don't DM me unless you want to fuck because I'm just a hoe right." Ebony rolls her eyes and sighs. "That's all I'm good for?" She repeats and annoyed.

"Ebony that's not what I meant—"

"Well you said it.  I don't know why I constantly deal with you.  Maybe I'm hoping that one day you'll change and see that I actually want to be with you, to be your friend but not if it's going to be like this.   I can't do this anymore it's not fair to me." 

"Ebony please that's not what I meant just listen to me,"

"Then What did you mean? You only call me whenever you're feeling horny late at night.  You don't give a fuck about me, I cared about you...was I not a good friend to you?"

"You, were...are.," he corrects himself.  "It's not you...it's me.  I really like you.  I do I'm just afraid of being vulnerable again because I don't wanna get hurt again.  I really loved Vanessa and it's hard to let those feelings go after loosing someone who you expected to be your forever.  I just need time to get myself together I don't want to hurt you in the process."

"You already have," Ebony whispers.

"Where do we go from here?"

"I know we both like each other but we're two emotionally wounded souls which is unhealthy when being in a relationship.  In order to be in a relationship or friendship you have to be able to trust me.  I don't want to rush this because I actually do like you, I just don't want to set myself up for failure, which it looks like I already have..." Ebony truthfully admits.