18. Ass Kicking

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I tighten my grip on the steering wheel, refusing to to go down a certain rabbit hole

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I tighten my grip on the steering wheel, refusing to to go down a certain rabbit hole. Jasmine is my best friend. My sister. I would know if she was a psychopath.

Right?

"Lena?"

"What?" I ask, unintentionally snapping at Elliot.

"Pull over, please."

I listen to his instruction and stop the car in a nearby service station, immediately loosening my seatbelt. I'm suddenly too claustrophobic. Too anxious. My breathing is laboured, coming out in random spurts. Restricting. Exhausting.

"Stop jumping to conclusions," he soothes, reaching across the centre console to brush his fingers along my cheek.

"What if she's in trouble?" I ask, doing the exact opposite of not jumping to conclusions.

"Then, we help her."

"And what if she's not in trouble?" I continue. "What if-"

"She's a serial killer, thirsty for blood?"

I sigh and rest my head on his chest. "I don't know what to believe anymore. One minute we're on a roll. The next, we're back to square one, and I'm contemplating whether I'm cut out for this."

"What d'ya mean?" he asks.

"Penn. Becoming a defence lawyer. Everything."

"Helena..." he argues. "It's normal to feel like this. But you have to put your personal feelings aside and go where the evidence is pointing. I'm sure there's a perfectly reasonable explanation. And as for you not being cut out for this... that's the biggest load of shit I've ever heard. You're amazing. Penn is lucky to have you!"

I further burrow my head into his sweater and breathe in his scent, hoping that it calms my anxiety. "How am I supposed to ask my best friend if she's a murderer?"

"You don't," he ensures. "Not yet. Let's hold off on speaking to her about this until we have more evidence." He pulls me closer, caressing my back as he goes. "And let me drive the rest of the way. You've got a lot on your mind."

"I'm sorry. This was supposed to be a fun trip for you. Instead, it's turned to shit."

"It hasn't turned to shit at all." He smirks. "And we've still got a couple of hours behind us yet. So turn that frown upside down, Gallagher. Or else!"

"Or else what?"

"Or else it's ABBA the entire way home!"

Say no more!

We switch places and get going; Elliot humming along to the music, me thinking about Jasmine. It's too big a thing to just put to the back of my mind and forget. Despite wanting to, I can't not think about it.

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