The Maddest Hoe | BNHA x Reader Textfic

Who did it?

It was Friday night at the U.A dorms and Iida had come down to get a glass of water before bed. He felt secure in the comfort of the dormitory kitchen , this place had become his home away from home.... It was that sense of security that made the this gruesome discovery that much more horrific.... Iida touched something sticky leaking out of some rubbery substance... He turned on the light to reveal....

A used Condom

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Normal P.O.V

You and your fellow classmates were woke up and forced to come to a urgent meeting in the kitchen. As the lazy person you were , you forced Kiri to carry you down, honestly he didn't mind.

"Thank you all for coming. I apologise for waking you up and this hour but I found something disturbing..." Iida finished his dramatic monologue and held up the used condom he found (with gloves on ofc).

Everyone's eyes widened , no one knew what to say , it was silent... well , it was for a moment before Kaminari, Sero, Kirishima and Mina burst out laughing.

As for you... you are a complete idiot and on top of that you were tired so you said.."Aw sweet is that a yogurt ballon? Dibs!" You snatched the condom out of Iidadd hand and brought it to your mouth to drink up. Thankfully Iida snatches it away from you before you could consume the white goo.

"No , this is a used condom! and it is unacceptable that one of us did sexual intercourse in our kitchen!" He said chopping the air with his free hand. No one knew what to say but the dreaded grape pervert spoke up. "We should have everyone give cum samples-" You kicked him across the room with he could finish earning a quiet thank you for Lida. "Get comfortable everyone... We are not leaving until we figure this out."

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It had already been a good 20 minutes and so far people have just been accusing eachother. "It was obviously Bakugou and (Y/n)! They are like dogs in heat!" Sero shouted , instantly getting a slap over the head from Bakugou. "Shut up flat face! It wasn't us! Spider bitch hasn't let me smash in 4 days" There was a clear look of sadness on his face as he finished his sentence. He looked over at you with hopeful eyes but you gave him the same response you've been giving for days. "No Ron." He simply scoffed in response.

"Well if it wasn't you two then who was it?" Now you may have tried to drink a used condom but you were well awake at this point. As a Danganronpa groupie you have waited your whole life for this moment... You were gonna bust this case wide open.

You slammed your hands on the table to get everyone's attention. "Fufufu... Isn't it obvious who it is?" You suddenly pointed at the one and only... Todoroki Shoto.

Silence fell across the room , eventually being broke by the man himself. "You're all annoying I wouldn't touch any of you with a 5 foot stick let alone make love to one of you. Also, this condom is too small." With that roast and flex you and Mina wheezed, having to take a few minutes to recover.

"HE HIT US WITH THE 'It's too small' HAHAHA" Everyone in the room was either shook to the core or aroused by his remark. However the excitement died down when the lights suddenly went out. Naturally everyone panicked, during the panic you felt two hands harshly grope your chest from behind. This was a real sticky situation.

After like 30 seconds of confusion the lights turned back on. Everyone was still basically where they were before except for Denki, who was behind you grabbing your tiddies.