Million Words, One Letter

Time passed

The days went by and I started focusing on studying, it was not easy, the teacher became very happy seeing me every day, I felt that I changed a lot inside me, I left the university and saw a missed call from Natasha about an hour ago, I called back and answered as quickly as usual': Hello  Sofia?  Will you be busy today?' I answered:" I don't know, I have a few homework, There is no test." She said:" Very beautiful, well, Can you come to the apartment?" I need help.' I said:" Anyway, I was returning to the apartment, I will see you there." I got on the train this time to go speeding, I thought Natasha really wanted to help, I got close to the apartment and my steps increased quickly, I opened the apartment door and didn't close the door until my eyes fell on it and the key fell too, I tried to pretend I didn't care and said:' Natasha? You told me you wanted to help.'  Natasha walked out of the room and said:" Help, I'm going to see Jose, and you're going to stay here with Nathan, I'm glad to meet you, but I'm sorry Jose has promised to go to the movies." I spoke loudly and said':Will I stay alone? Wait, Natasha, I'll get angry so much, I warn you!' Natasha stood behind the door and said:' Just be natural, it is Nathan and not a predator, go back inside!' Natasha went to the elevator and I stayed outside, I don't know what to do and Why did he come now? I had already forgotten him and I no longer thought about it, I went back to the apartment and closed the door behind me, it was difficult to see where he was sitting and I was trying to delay closing the door while he was looking at the TV and then said:' Does closing the door need this long time? Or should I come to help you?' My heart beat was accelerating and my hands were shaking a lot, put the key on the dining table and went to the fridge and said in a soft voice': Do you want to drink something? coffee? juice? Water? Or do you eat?' He looked at me and said:" Just water, please."  Every drop of water took one minute, I was trying to delay everything in order to go or even know that I do not want to see him again in order not to fall in love, I brought a glass of water and sat on the sofa and said 'Do you want anything else?' I will go to change my clothes.' He looked at my clothes and said:" You can go."  I locked the door of the room and sat on the bed thinking, then called Natasha: Why did you do that?  what should I do now? I fell in a very embarrassing situation.' Natasha smiled and then said:' This is what you wanted, you were talking a lot about him and when I talk about it your features suddenly change, listen to me Sofia, just be normal and you never be shy, you can change that, we talked about that before.' There was a little silence, and then I said:" Goodbye, Natasha." I changed my clothes and went out to the living room while he was looking at his phone and then he looked at me and said:" Were you in college?" I smiled and said 'Yes, what about you? Were you working?' He said:" Yes, I went to work, I mean a lot of work, Did something happen to your studies?" I said:' It all became good, now I can do my homework without someone's help." He looked at me and said:" Actually, I'm sorry about what happened that day, when I forced you to talk." I looked at the TV and said' It's okay, sometimes we do something we regret after that. ' Then he suddenly said in a calm voice. "And did you feel remorse when I traveled?" I answered speedly:' No.' He said:' Just look at me and let me know.' Nathan stood up and sat on the same sofa that I sat on and looked at me and said:' You like to think about the things that no one can think of, you always start thinking about the small things before the big one, why does the coffee maker draw on the coffee if people drink it without caring about the drawing? Why does the painter paint his painting with several brushes while he can paint with one brush, no matter how difficult the painting is, why do you like your hands to always dive into a bag of spices or dried fruit when you go to the supermarket? Why do you every time you go to the opposite cafe trying to find out how many chairs are there in the cafe or is there a new chair?' I felt dizzy for seconds, how could he know what was inside me? Is he a magician? I forgot to ask Natasha about this, and I stood up to go to my room but he grabbed my hand and said:' Not every time, I promised myself that I would not let you go this time before I heard everything from you, tell me everything.' I said "I'm going to sleep, I'm tired." Then he said quickly:' Is this because you feel attractive to me? Can't you say that? You can't even look into my eyes.' I said:' What do you want me to say? Do you want me to tell you that I am afraid? or do you want me to say that I try to escape every time that makes me feel like a different girl from others? You told me that you will not love me and there is a difference between you and me? You are old while I'm still young! Do you want me to say that I have never fallen in love with anyone in my life but I felt different this time?' Nathan was approaching every time I spoke and then caught me hugging me so much that made me feel that I had reached the point where I found my other half, when I heard his heartbeat close to my ear and the scent of his perfume that stuck in every strand of my hair, I knew that I started to feel love but  Natasha shouldn't feel this or even Nathan himself, I quietly moved away from him as I look back and then went to my room without talking about anything, I didn't hug a person for a long time and when I hugged one of them I fell into a deep sleep without thinking.