Million Words, One Letter

I am walking behind you

So I became all my days, I was waking up and Natasha was not in the apartment a lot, sometimes she goes to Jose's house and does not return for three days or more, which makes me feel afraid and I sleep on the sofa, I was trying to call her but she never answers and never calls me again  At times I was sure to be asleep, I woke up once when someone knocked on the door at three o'clock at night and I did not answer but I remained silent and his accelerator tried to contact Nathan and quickly replied': Hello? Sofia?' I ran to the other room and said in a quiet voice:" There was someone knocking on the door at this late time, can you come now?" He answered' Who will it be? Well well wait for me and never open the door.' I turned off the phone and went near the door one of them was still knocking on, then I heard someone say:" Sofia, it's me, Natasha!  Open.' I ran quickly and quietly opened the door and said:" I was scared, I thought he was someone else, why did you come late?" Silence prevailed and Natasha sat on the sofa and then said in a tired voice:' Can I have water?  please.' Her voice was very tired, she was talking as if there was something that hurt her but she does not want to tell me what the matter is, every time I try to ask her this question I feel that this will be very naive and it is good to shut up, suddenly and after half an hour or more I heard someone enter his key  At the door of the apartment, she quickly scared Natasha and said:who is this? Go see him.' I looked at her in amazement as I was going, and then Nathan quietly entered as he looked and then said:' What happened? I didn't find anyone outside, who was knocking on the door?' And before I talked and told him about it, Natasha hurried to hug Nathan while she was crying, I was standing like a tablet, I couldn't do anything, I approached her and lifted her hair to the back, looked at her face, and said with fear": who did that? Is he... 'She suddenly interrupted me and said' No one, please just shut up, I don't want to...' Nathan walked away from her and looked at her face and said:' Did he try to hit you again?' I told you that I will never leave him this time.' I was confused while I was standing in the middle I don't know what to do, Nathan went quickly and did not give anyone a chance to speak to him or calm down a bit, Natasha started crying and she blamed herself and then said:' Please Sofia call him, I don't want him to go talk to Jose.' I put my arms behind and I said:' It's good to do it, Natasha, Nathan said the Jose hit you before that, is that right?'  She said:' This is because I provoked him a little, José could not bear the provocation and got angry quickly, I was talking to him about Nathan, I told him that I would go back to the apartment to celebrate the return of Nathan, he started screaming and saying that all things became about Nathan and he suddenly hit me.' I looked at it and said' He is despicable!' How can he do that to a girl she loves him? Was he already doing that about Nathan too?' Wiping her tears and crying again, she said: 'He was angry but not beating me, sometimes he beats me about something, when I tell him that I will go to work or when I tell him that I will return to the apartment.' I said in astonishment': But what makes him angry when you want to go to work?' She answered:" Sometimes he wants me to stay with him and tell him that I will go to work and that I want to get money, get angry and hit me, I don't know what happens to him, he was never like that." I approached her and hugged her tightly, and I was afraid of what was happening around me, She was in trouble from which she could not get out, Nathan returned after several hours and after Natasha went to sleep, he was in the kitchen while I quietly went out of the Natasha room and closed the door and then said:' She was crying all the time until she fell asleep because of the crying, Poor natasha.' Nathan put the cup firmly on the table and then said:" I couldn't find him, He got out of the flat where he's sitting and I couldn't find him." Then I said:' Please lower your voice, Natasha is still afraid and she will wake up at any time!'  Then he said:" I warned him before that, I told him not to hit her again." I looked at him with fear and said:" Sometimes I feel like you are..." He looked at me sarcastically and said:" I love her?" This is ridiculous! She has Jose who will be getting married soon! How do I love a girl I consider my sister? Please just use your mind!'  Use my mind? I stood with him for a few seconds and then went to Natasha's room and closed the door, What does this word mean? He came to talk to me as if I were one of his close friends, even to Jose, whom I looked at as a respectable and honest man who had a lot of bad things but...