Crossroad between the choppy waves and serene fields

That dance- sealing the past and back to the roots

Yan Lan was a strict and stern coach he would cheogreograph group dancers and left the ballad dancers to another colleague of his. So I had to learn both. Often our corporate appointments would request for classical and contemporary music and depending on which arrangements we would pair it with Yan Lan's company's if they requested for dance performance as well.

One day we had to go through an immersion as part of the course to learn to dance with our feelings and to do that we all had to be blindfolded. We had to feel the music and express it out. I like this exercise it literally just felt free no seeing just feeling. We all had to choose a song that we want dance to that could bring out our emotions be it happy sad remorse anything it was a free flow. We had a few rehearsals on it earlier.

That night after the rehearsal I decided to stay on. Being in the company of people and having music back into my life I felt I was able to slowly let Jon go, and I wanted to as so does others in the team but because we don't talk about it much and we keep it to ourselves I feel sometimes I wasn't sure if we could manage it when something trigger back from the past.

As the music played I blind folded myself again and just let it go freely taking in each step in just dancing to the rhythm and song

Jon this is for you....my heart called out

I offer you all my love
And endless gratitude
I swear on the stars that fell from your eyes
I'll be with you forever
I'll be with you forever
Following an endless dream
Never stopping I took the first step
Believing in your smile
Before I knew it I found myself in this place
A view unattainable in my own
Things I can't grasp
Together with you I can find it (I promise you)
Let's go on searching for it forever

The night went on endlessly and I felt Jon's spirit dancing along in those moment, I could feel so many words that I want to say that came through each steps that I wanted him back, wanted him to be here with us all it was just this open channel letting me express out what I could not, this song and dance dedicated to him. And as each step got more difficult I wanted to stop but I knew I had to finish this to close this chapter off and move, I wanted him to know I will forever keep his memories in me as I move on and that nothing will change. He lives in me in us that his music stays always close to our hearts ... and as I finish out the last verse almost exhausted emotionally I felt a hand on my waist that continued the flow of the dance with me synchronising the feel. In the darkness the hands guided my steps as we flow through the dance bracing out the last few steps the hands that carried me for a short leap as we move in tandem striking our hands movements until the final note and I rested before I remove my blind fold and saw those warms concern eyes that fell on me.

There was a moment of silent before Yan Lan breaks it.
"Good job Kay that should be the way. Let's go it's late"

Yan Lan lock up the dance studio and walk me home. As we were walking home Yan Lan was silent throughout so was I. He seemed to understood everything probably from Er Ge.

"Did you feel better?" He asked
"Mmm" was my short answer

Er Ge called me that night and we chatted for a bit. He asked if I was ready to come home as everyone misses me and I promise to do so soon.

Perhaps Ta Ge is right, everyone seem to be pretty lenient with me perhaps the fact that I am just turning 23 soon and it's prime that I get moving in life where as Er Ge and Ta Ge seems much more mature with the 2 years apart from each other. Er Ge and Yan Lan is about the same age. The last 2.5 years staying away from home while earning my credits at performing arts school and playing my role in the orchestra team has been challenging yet it help me to build  the connection that I needed as I venture into media consulting and event planning at the same time and building up the business in the last 2 years is quite an achievement itself.