Il libro di Jaylos

the smile i can't replace

taken from: RottenKidNextDoor (PortalofWords) on AO3
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Carlos wasn't talking to him. And Jay didn't know why.

At first, he'd shrugged it off. Carlos was busy with Jane. Carlos was celebrating with his friends. Carlos was driving them all back to Evie's place. Carlos was helping Evie clean the dishes from dinner.

But eventually, Jay had to stop kidding himself. Something was definitely wrong. His friend - his best friend - wouldn't meet his eyes. Carlos avoided him in the hallways, ducking into the bathroom or the living room whenever he could. Carlos laughed and smiled with Evie and Mal, but shut down the second Jay tried to join in. There was just no getting around it; Carlos, for some reason, had decided to ice Jay out.

And if the freckled boy wanted to be stubborn, Jay could match it. He didn't let up, trying to get his attention at every turn.

"Hey, 'Los," Jay called across the kitchen where Carlos was finishing off the last slice of Jane's cake. "You better bake a hundred more cakes now that Mal's committed to getting all the kids off the island in the next six weeks. You saw how much Celia and Co. liked your cooking. There's hardly anything left. And that was only four of them!"

Jay wanted Carlos to laugh, to joke, to punch him, even - anything other than ignore him. But Carlos did none of those things; he barely looked up, delicately shredding off another bite of blue frosting with his fork. His silence landed harder than a sucker punch. What the hell had Jay done wrong?

Did you say something? Did you do something?

Jay racked his brain, trying desperately to play back the last few days and pin down just what had caused the freckled boy to pull away like this. There had been the fight against Audrey, Ben going all beast on everyone, turning into statues for a hot second, the engagement party, Mal's refusal of the throne and her announcement to get every last kid off the island, the celebration, and the dancing, of course - but none of that seemed to warrant this cold response. In fact, the last few days had been wild, true, and a little crazy - but nothing they hadn't been able to handle.

After a few more minutes of strange, tension filled silence, Jay couldn't take it anymore and headed for the stairs. Now that Evie finally had her own place, there were more than enough rooms for everyone to get their own, but Jay and Carlos had decided to share one anyway; it felt more like the dorms back at Auradon Prep and even their hideout on the island. They'd gotten used to bunking together, he supposed, and even though Jay rarely admitted it, he felt safer when Carlos was around. Old habits died hard.

But as he changed alone into a pair of new drop-crotch sweatpants - courtesy of Evie - and sat on his bed, Jay suddenly wondered if maybe Carlos wouldn't come up to bed. Maybe he'd chosen a different room to sleep in. Or maybe he'd gone to sleep with Evie (which happened sometimes when he got particularly freaked out).

Seriously, what did you do?

Carlos still hadn't appeared, and Jay was about to give up hope and switch off the light when he heard soft, padding footsteps in the hall.

"'Los?"

Carlos stepped into the room, carrying Dude in his arms. He didn't say anything, not that Jay was really expecting him to speak at this point. He just walked over to his side of the room and stood there.

Carlos had grown over the last year, and sometimes, when Jay blinked, he saw a man instead of a boy - especially when he forgot to shave. But right now, with his beloved dog wrapped tightly in his arms, Carlos looked about fourteen, the same small, scared little boy that stepped off the island for the very first time all those years ago.

"Carlos...." Jay's voice came out low and quiet. He wanted to reach out to him, to hold him, maybe, except that he didn't trust himself around Carlos anymore. Whatever he'd done must've been terrible. But the longer the silence went on, the less subdued Jay felt. Something red and hot began building in his gut, egged on by the way Carlos stared just over his shoulder instead of into his eyes. The redness was dangerous, Jay knew. Once his temper flared, all hell could break loose. But he'd retraced all his actions, thought back through the whole day, and nothing! He'd done nothing to deserve this treatment - especially not from the person he trusted with his life!