Il libro di Jaylos

we're like two halves of one heart

taken from: scottsmcalls on Ao3
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Carlos hated New Year's Eve. Having to face the pressures of finding someone to kiss when the ball drops was the worst way to end the year-especially when he couldn't get a date and felt like shit. And why did people have to succumb to societal pressures of kissing somebody to celebrate the beginning of the new year anyways? What was wrong with just hanging out with friends at midnight instead? That seemed like such a better option in comparison. Friends were just as important as dates, maybe even more. A bond between friends was unbreakable and what better way to spend New Year's Eve than with good friends.

Ugh, who was he kidding? He wanted someone to kiss. Except that this year (like every other since he could remember) he was all alone and single as fuck. But the brightside was that so were his friends! Which is why Carlos suggested they make a pact that they would all go to Mal's annual New Year's Eve party without any dates...but apparently the term 'without any dates' was subjective because they all found dates.

Mal and Evie finally got their shit together and became girlfriends, Lonnie asked out some girl named Jane that moved in across the hall, Ben was going to bring Evie's coworker from Central Perk, Doug, and Jay asked out this guy he met at the gym (which stung a lot for some reason, but Carlos tried not to think about it too much).

The party was in full swing by the time Carlos showed up. Mal and Evie's apartment was decked out with twinkly lights hanging off the banisters, Harry, Uma, and Gil were dancing and acting like they didn't know they were the center of attention, Audrey and Chad were off in one corner bickering-as usual-while sipping from champagne flutes, and everybody else was coupled up and kissing already. Well this sucks, Carlos thought. He considered going back out the door and locking himself in his apartment for the rest of the night, but then Evie saw him and that plan went to hell.

"Hey Carlos! Glad you could make it." She squealed, wrapping her arms around him in a tight hug. Soon after that the rest of the gang followed suit and greeted Carlos too. All except Jay who wasn't there, strangely.

"Happy New Year's Eve, everybody." Carlos said. He looked past them and saw Doug and a pretty brunette girl he assumed was Jane sitting on the couch. "I'm guessing they're the reason our pact got called off."

Lonnie blushed. "Yeah, we're sorry about that, buddy."

Ben smiled sympathetically. "You have every right to be mad at us. All of us." He cleared his throat loudly, gesturing at Mal and Evie who were holding hands.

Mal scoffed. "Way to throw us under the bus, Benny Boo."

"It's fine, you guys." Carlos reassured. "As long as you're all happy I'm good. Promise." Because, yeah, he was bummed he was the only one without a date. But Carlos would rather be single and miserable by himself than have all of his friends be single and miserable with him. Speaking of friends, one of them was still missing. "Hey, have any of you seen Jay yet?"

As if on cue someone appeared behind Carlos and gave him a bear hug. "Why? Did you miss me?" Jay asked cheerfully, patting his friend on the back and running his hands through his hair messily.

"No, not really." Carlos chuckled. He pushed him away and Jay blew a raspberry in response.

"Whatever you say." Jay teased, his voice cocky as ever. Carlos could still remember the first time he heard that voice; it was when he was interviewing Jay before they became roommates. He flashed back to that day and smiled, thinking about how far they had come since then.

They were a weird combination, if Carlos was being honest. At first glance Jay was this big manly guy that worked at a gym and probably drank protein shakes like Carlos drank water. But the more he got to know him, the more he saw what Jay was really like. How smart he was, his great sense of humor, that he was secretly a huge softie, and a bunch of other little quirks. Maybe their friendship didn't make sense on paper but it worked and Carlos was glad it did.

"So where's your date?" Carlos asked after a brief pause. "Isn't he gonna get jealous you're talking to a stud like me?" He teased.

Jay looked down at the floor awkwardly and tried to hide his frown. "Um, he never showed up. So I guess now you're not the only single guy here." He laughed half-heartedly, but Carlos could see the disappointment in his eyes.

Carlos sighed. Jay was known to have the worst taste in guys so it wasn't surprising, but that didn't mean Carlos had gotten used to seeing him get hurt. "Well it's his loss." He offered supportively. "You were probably too good for him anyways." Carlos added, slinging his arm around Jay's shoulders in a half-hug.

"Good point." Jay smiled softly. "Plus it beats being whipped like those guys." He pointed over to their friends who were with their dates and acting like sickeningly adorable couples.

Carlos laughed, but also felt his heart warm up at the sight of them. "I don't know, I think it's sweet." He said before turning to look back at Jay, suddenly noticing how close their faces were. There was something about him, something about the look in his eyes and how his lips curled up in a gentle smile, that made butterflies stir in Carlos' chest. But he didn't feel nervous, he felt...almost comforted. Safe.

A few feet away, Evie cleared her throat. "Guys get ready, it's a minute to midnight!" She announced and everybody in the room hurried to find a kissing partner. Everybody except Jay and Carlos.

He still had his arm around Jay, their faces centimeters apart, and Carlos caught himself staring at Jay in an entirely different light. There were so many people at that party that Carlos could've been spending the night with, but in that moment he realized that the only person it felt right to spend it with was Jay. It was always Jay. It was Jay who Carlos shared his good news with first, it was Jay who cheered him up when he was in a funk, it was Jay who made Carlos feel less lonely. Jay was the guy for Carlos, and somehow he was blind to that fact for the last year.

Then everybody surrounding them started chanting in unison. "10, 9, 8..."

Carlos panicked. Was kissing Jay on midnight too cheesy of a cliche? Was it just cheesy enough to work?

"7, 6, 5..."

Everything was happening so fast. Carlos found out he liked Jay less than a minute ago, there was no way he could kiss him that fast. And who was to say Jay even liked him back. Oh God, what if he doesn't like me back?

"4, 3, 2..."

But Carlos had to take that chance.

"1!"

Carlos grabbed the sides of Jay's face and pressed their lips together, similarly to how every dramatic straight couple in the history of film had done before him. Around them the crowd rang in the new year, cheering and applauding like sports fans after their team won, but Carlos and Jay were lost in a world of their own. The kiss was soft and gentle, but it was also the best kiss Carlos had ever had and he loved every second of it. They pulled away slowly and Carlos felt like he just rode the most exciting roller coaster of his life. But now the ride was over and he felt a little dizzy and nauseous. He looked at Jay and saw his eyebrows furrow in confusion.

"That was...different." He said plainly.

Carlos gulped. "Different in a good way or do I need to start looking for a new roommate?" He joked, trying to hide the fact that he was freaking out internally like he never had before.

But Jay broke out in a smile that put Carlos at ease. "I don't know, maybe we should try again to figure it out." He teased.

Carlos rolled his eyes. "You wish." He said, feigning annoyment. But really Carlos couldn't be happier. For the past few years he was bitter and alone on New Years, wishing he could have someone that made him excited to start a new year. And now, looking at Jay, Carlos realized he did. And that feeling was wonderful.