Il libro di Jaylos

I'm okay

taken from: bunny-lou on tumblr
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He just wants to scare Carlos a little bit, that's all. And maybe sneak a peak at his naked friend, but that involves a load of feelings Jay hasn't confessed yet.
Carlos is pretty adamant about changing after the rest of the team has left. It's just one of those traits Jay has never questioned, just like how Carlos likes to recite the periodic table in the shower instead of sing or how he color codes his notes for every class.
So when he walks back into the locker room and hears the faint murmur of "plutonium, gold, mercury..." over the running water, Jay just waits. He crouches off to the side of the curtain, the row of showers are all separated by concrete walls that reach his shoulder.
It takes another minute, but the water shuts off and Carlos has reached elements Jay could never spell. His light feet slap against the wet tiles and a freckled hand reaches around the curtain-.
"Ahhhh!" Jay yells and waves his hands just as Carlos pulls the shower curtain back.
The younger boy leaps and squawks, stumbling back into the shower cubicle until Jay's hand is on him and preventing Carlos from slipping on the ceramic.
Whatever laughter bubbled up has died in his throat and Jay is much less excited about being in the presence of a naked Carlos and much more horrified.
"Wh-what are you doing?" Carlos snatches his wrist back and forces the shower curtain still between them, hiding himself under the sheet of plastic. His face is contorted in an odd mix of fury and confusion, shying away from Jay like he's the monster who has hurt him.
"I...I..." Jay swallows and steps back. This isn't right. This isn't fun anymore and he doesn't want to keep looking, but he can't stop. "What happened?"
Carlos keeps the shower curtain covering him as well as he can.
"Are these...the Isle?" Which is a dumb ass question since they've been in Auradon for a month and scars like take time to happen. These couldn't have come from anywhere else.
Jay can still see Carlos' face, his throat and his shoulder. He can see the textured skin, the jagged lines and little circles on his collar. He thought he knew Carlos' life story - crazy mom, fear of dogs, giant brain - but these scars must have been the words in invisible ink that Jay could never read until now.
Carlos nods his head.
"What... Carlos..." His words are gone and everything is too difficult to say right now. Jay can only reach out slowly, trace his fingers on Carlos' wet skin, and move over a crooked scar he had never known to exist. This is why he showered alone after practice.
"Hey, Jay," Carlos murmurs and steps closer, keeps the curtain up, "are you okay?"
Has Carlos seen his own reflection? Jay is not the person who needs to be asked that. He nods anyway.
"Let me get dried off and dressed," Carlos says, "we'll...talk. Or something."
"Okay." Jay turns away and walks out of the shower area, back to where the lines of lockers are, and slides down to the floor and pulls his knees up to his chest.
His mind is disturbingly blank as he waits for Carlos.
"Hey," Carlos kneels next to him on the ground, "Jay?" The older boy looks to him and Carlos continues, "I need you to not...say anything to anyone. Please?"
"What happened?"
Carlos smiles a little bit, like there's something okay with his body being a canvas of pain. "I just...made my mom mad sometimes."
"That's what she did to you?"
"More or less."
He's clothed now, his typical outfit with a baggy jacket and shorts just past his knees. Jay had once itched to explore the skin underneath and touch what he could. Now he's ill just picturing what is under it all.
"How long did she...?"
"For a while." Carlos shrugs. "As long as I can remember."
Fuck. Jafar wasn't even that bad.
"Please don't tell anyone."
Jay nods. He could never bare telling the girls. Mal would break something and Evie would just...break.
"Are you...okay?" Carlos asks and touches Jay's shoulder.
No. "Yeah, I'm fine man. Are you?"
Carlos breathes and smiles. "Yeah. It's long healed."
"You're okay?"
"I'm okay."
Jay moves without realizing it, pushing his arms around Carlos' waist and bringing him close. He's gentle about it, so gentle, because the idea of causing Carlos even the slightest pain is one shouting in his mind. "You're okay."
"Yeah, Jay," Carlos winds his own arms over Jay's shoulders. "I'm okay."